I Want You To Stay

Where We Were

I found you there: sitting on the most unusual looking piece of log that has become our makeshift chair; under the chilly-December-tropical weather, sunny but still cold; your head resting on the street lamp right next to you. This almost hidden park had always been and instantly turned to be your safe place⎯our safe place.

There were only three people so I instantly saw where you were. Far from the two girls trying to fly a kite, you were looking at the sky as if the sunlight didn't bother you.

You've always been the snob one in this friendship. Hesitating to smile at people, gazing far, and cannot even be bothered.

I walk quietly to your direction thinking how you could be this zen when your life is the total opposite.

"Hey!"

"Uy hi," you greeted back with a smile. Ahhh finally, a smile.

I teased you, "did you already think it was me?"

"Lakad mo pa lang kilala ko na, boses mo pa kaya?"

I jokingly rolled my eyes and tried conjuring up a pun but all I ever thought was to ask how you were.

"Kamusta? How is my favorite heartthrob doing?" I asked while using an imaginary mic, acting as if I'm a newscaster from a local entertainment news.

"Same old. Still going through a pile of shit that I, not even my management, can't control."

"Oooh damn, you don't cuss on national TV," you pushed my hand away from you, seemingly asking me to stop my nonsense.

I obliged and finally sat down beside you.

"I don't know what's happening anymore with some fans. Honestly, I don't understand a thing. Why are the fandoms fighting over who I'll be paired up with?"

"Dude, do you even realize how a lot of aspiring talents would kill just to get where you are?"

"Pero kasi... I really want to be honest with them. I want them to like me because of me and not because of my love teams."

"Ginusto mo 'yan eh." I whizzed. "Not a lot of actors can stand without a love team."

You looked at me as if disgusted with what I just said, "do you seriously think I'm not good enough?"

"Joke lang, 'to naman masyadong seryoso," I laughed but then immediately stopped when I saw your eyebrows almost meeting. "What I'm saying is that, you really have to follow what your bosses tell you. I'm pretty sure they know what they're doing. They've been acting on this long enough to be aware of that same situation."

You looked at your shoes. You always look at your feet when you're thinking.

I noted you haven't cracked a joke. I got a little worried. "Is that the only reason you're here? Are there any problems?"

You tried hiding your sigh but it was too heavy to be unnoticed.

"Mom eh... 'Di pa rin siya umuuwi."

"Kahit text or tawag?"

"Wala. She was tagged in a Facebook post though but she took it down. Dad's been pretty upset. He would snap at me and Enid about petty things..."

"Maybe he's just having a hard time showing what he really feels?"

"But that's not what my sister and I need right now. In fact, he is the one we need. He should be holding this family up..." your eyes started watering a little.

I gave you a hug, I knew you needed one.

"GAB! BALIK NA DAW⎯" Your PA Dan was running towards us and halted when he saw me hugging you. I unlocked my arms from your firm frame.

"Sorry ha, tawag na kasi tayo. Lapit na daw kuhaan yung scene mo," he then proceeded.

"Ah sige, okay," you told Dan, who then eventually made his way back to the car.

"I'll text you. I still need to talk to you," you stood up and faced me.

"Yeah, sure. I'm just one message away. Alam mo naman na yo'n." I touched the end of your lips and pushed it upwards a little to let you know you need to smile again. "Hindi para sa akin, tsong. Para sa'yo."

You hugged me one last time and faked a smile. "Bye," you finally said and walked away.

"Bye pogi!" I shouted. You raised your right arm to acknowledge it while already hurrying back.

"Haay, kailangan pa ba talaga natin pag-usapan?"