Christmas Lights

Dad

As I'm walking out of Justin's front door I hear someone calling my phone. I just shove it away not even looking at who was calling. I give him a kiss and I call an uber to take me home.

The red Volkswagen comes to the beginning of there street and summons me inside. I get in the car and the man drives me home

The gates are open when I get to the front door. I can see my dad in the kitchen with his head down and a beer bottle in his hand. I open the door. The beep goes off saying I opened the door.

"Delaney. What. The. Fuck. Where have you been." My dad screamed at me as I got to the kitchen.

"At Justin's, remember you said I could." I was starting to get scared about what would happen next. I could feel my cheeks getting hotter and my palms started to sweat. I just stood still and held myself from bursting.

     "I did not say you could go anywhere!" He took a step closer yet I stood there not knowing what to do. Oh I wish my sister was here. She always stands up for me if it keeps me away from getting hurt.

     "I'm sorry dad." I put my head down for a little then looked back up to see his dark blue eyes on me.  He took a step closer and drew his left hand behind his right ear and swung. I felt my face swell up and jerk to the side.

     "This will not happen again."

     I slam the door behind me to my room not caring if my dad hears. I walk into my lavender colored bathroom. In the mirror I see a broken little girl trying to control herself. A small girl  with a red and blue bruise across her left cheek. I shuffle through my makeup bag, tears rolling down my face, looking for concealer. I could hide this up for school right? I ask even though no one is there to answer. I turn the cold shower faucet. I look in the mirror one more time before turning away. ( TRIGGER WARNING self harm) I clench my fist and burst. I thrust my hand and the wall not knowing what I'm doing. I don't feel any pain at all. I open my bottom cabinet drawer and pull out one of my razor blades. I look and my jagged reflection. Mascara running down my face. Bloodshot eyes. Bruised cheek. But most of all. A worried face. I slide the blade along my thigh and left wrist. Blood trickled down my leg and arm. I need to wash it all away.

     I put my left foot into the shower. I can feel the little drops of cold water from above on my leg. The water was much more cold than my tears. As I got my whole body in I could feel myself numb up from the cold. I could numb away the pain. I see red get mixed in with the water at the floor to see a reddish pink mix. I run my fingers through my wet hair and let the water drain.