KILLED

Chapter Five

I blink my eyes once, and now I'm lying on a stretcher inside of an ambulance, with my mom gently holding my hand and talking to me in a soothing tone.
"You're okay", she says quietly, brushing a lock of red hair out of my right eye. "I know it hurts; it'll be over soon."
I make a quiet whimper, my face still wet with my blood as I close my eyes again to blink.
This time when I open them, the first thing I see is a syringe needle jamming into my cheek. I watch through half closed eyes a different needle getting threaded and poked into the torn skin of my bloody face, back and forth, back and forth, while the same process is used on my shin.
Through all of this, my mother still holds my hand and tells me everything will be okay.
After that, everything gets kind of fuzzy, but I do remember being driven home in the ambulance and being carried inside my house by Detective McCormick and covered with a soft blue blanket.
And suddenly, my eyelids get even heavier, and I have to close them. I have to let myself go into a dreamless sleep.
»»»»----------»
My head feels like it's filled with cotton when I next open my eyes and look around.
I'm lying on the sofa in my living room, still wearing the bloodstained clothes I wore yesterday. I can feel a bandage on my cheek and wrapped around my ankle.
I open my mouth and call out quietly, "Mom?"
She's at my side almost instantaneously, kissing my forehead before asking, "You need anything, honey?"
My throat is scratchy and I close my eyes for a moment, then say, "Can I have some water?"
Of course." My mother reaches behind my head pick up the glass from the side table before handing it over.
I groan quietly as I half sit up, a dull throb beginning where the bullet grazed me. I drink greedily from the cup, downing the water in what seems to me less than a millisecond.
"You worried me", she says finally. "I don't want to lose you, Tess. Not after your father."
I close my eyes at the mention of my dad, willing myself not to cry.
Do. Not. Cry.
"I won't do anything like that ever again", I say. "I promise."
"Okay, then. Now, let's get you out of those clothes, shall we?"
I nod my head and slowly, with my mom's help, get to my feet. I scream when I put weight on my left foot, losing my balance, causing us both to tumble onto the floor.
"Okay, maybe we need a little help", Mom admits. "I'll be right back." She clambers to her feet and goes into the kitchen.
A minute later, she comes back and sits down cross-legged beside me, holding out another glass of water, which I take gratefully.
"Tyler's on his way", she informs me. "He told me to call if we needed a little help."
"Tyler's nice", I comment absentmindedly.
"Yes, yes he is", my mother says dreamily, leaning her head back to rest against the sofa cushion.
"Mom? Do you like Tyler?", I ask. "What about Dad?"
"Your father left us", she says. "He's never coming back and we both know that. I had you when I was seventeen."
"I know", I say quietly. "I know, now answer the question please."
"Okay, fine. Maybe a little", she confesses. "I don't really know yet."
I laugh and lean my throbbing head against her shoulders, both of us watching the lights on our Christmas tree blink on and off.
»»»»------------»
When the doorbell finally rings, Mom and I are drinking hot cocoa and finally opening the Christmas presents.
"Be right back", she says, hopping up and walking to answer the door.
I look at the last unopened gift under the tree; the gift I am afraid to open.
The tag reads TO TESS, FROM SARA.
I smile a little, ignoring the intense pain, remembering how Sara always wrote in uppercase, partly to annoy the teachers, partly bcause she loved to be diffferent from everyone else.
She tried so hard to be seen, to stand out and swim against the tide, and all I wanted to do was be invisible and be like everyone else.
"Hey, kiddo", Tyler says, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Feelin' better?"
I shrug and say, "Not really, to be honest. It hurts to smile, and I can't stand."
"That is why I'm here", he replies with a wink. "Think you can get onto the couch?"
I roll my eyes, but do as he wants.
The analyst turns his back to me and kneels down on the carpet.
"Climb aboard", he says and I do, laughing when he stands up. "So, where we going?"
"My room", I say. "I need to change clothes and burn them."
"I hope not!", my mom calls. "I paid good money for those!"
I roll my eyes again as we thump up the stairs, groaning as each step jars my body and filling me with pain.
When we finally get to my room, I feel like I've been running as Tyler gently sets me down on my mattress.
"Tell me when you're ready to go back downstairs. Tess. Tess?"
"Mmmmm", I grunt. "I need pain killers."
"Well, how about you get changed, and I will see what I can do."
I wait for him to leave before reaching over to my nightstand and opening the bottom drawer.
I change into fleece pajamas, but I don't call for my newest friend to come back.
Instead, I simply stretch out across my bed, and shut my eyes, wishing for a good dream.