And it sucks. You know you can't have the one person you want the most. You want them more then anything in the world. Then you make a decision, that could possibly ruin a friendship.
Then you find out something, after the other person makes a move, and all you want to do is cry. Lay in bed and cry because you were stupid enough to believe that the person you wanted was different than all the others.
When you find out that secret it sends you into a wave of short or long term depression. And for the person who found out the secret, you want to crawl in a hole and die.
You no longer can keep up the facade that you are okay. And you have to wake up day and night, and wonder why this had to happen to you.
It makes you want to hurt yourself. It makes you want to have no reason to do anything. Its almost as if you have no more purpose, all because of that one secret you found out about the one person you wanted, but it turns out that you could never end up having him in the first place.
And it sucks. You could talk about anything with that person. And now? Its like you can't even say a word. The silence is deafening, because you know something that he doesn't know that you know.
You begin to think what your life would be like without that person. What life would be like if you had never met that person.
But you also think of the good times, and you instantly want to turn those into bad memories because you know that he lied to you. You know that the trust between you two is broken, and could never be the same as it was before.
