Halo (Zarry Fanfic)

Chapter 4

As I stood there motionless staring at Zayn standing in the doorway of the Old Bar my heart stopped. I wanted to run, or just go into the bathroom to hide at least until he left.

 But I couldn’t move. When our eyes connected for the first time since this morning, I forgot. I forgot why I was hurt, angry, betrayed. I forgot about what he had done. For just one moment I let myself remember what he use to be like before all this happened. His golden eyes use to sparkle as he showed me what he was working on for his art and design class, the way he was passionate, the way he used to call me baby and wrap his arms around me from behind and kiss my neck, when he used to tuck my hair behind my ear, the way he laughed when I gave him a weird face when he was being uncharacteristically romantic & all those long nights we spent talking and how he told me he loved me before spending the rest of the night making love to me. I was snapped out of my trance too soon though.

 “Harper, please talk to me.” Zayn pleaded quietly to me. I had somehow not realised he had walked over and was now standing in front of me. He was standing way to close for my liking at this moment and I sharply backed up putting my hand up between us. “Harp, please let me explain.” He said reaching for my hands. I pulled them away harshly.

 “Just stop okay! I don’t want to do this right now!” I exclaimed, which caught the attention of the people around us. They all just stared and then continued to pretend that they didn’t hear me raise my voice.

 “Please Harp, I’m so sorry.” I could see the genuine hurt in his eyes but I couldn’t register that over my own.

 “No.” I breathed out. I turned and quickly moved into the ladies bathroom, slamming the door shut in Zayn’s face as he had tried to follow me. Before checking that I was alone in this small two cubical bathroom I leant my hands against the basin looked at my reflection and I just broke down. I was chocking out sobs before I new it. My knuckles had tuned ghost white from gripping the basin so tight. The pain in my chest was unbearable and I could barely breathe. It was a bad idea to come here. I should have just stayed in my dorm. How did I ever even think that I could come out not even after a day and think I would be ok? All I could think was why? Why did he do it, to us? I didn’t understand. But even though I wanted to know I just didn’t know if I was ready to sit down with him and ‘discuss‘ it.

 I turned on the tap and let the water run through my fingers before bringing them up to my face to remove the black smudges from my now running eyeliner. I had left my bag at the table and I really was not in the mood for touching up my make up right now so I just made it look like I hadn’t been having a crying fit when I returned to the table.

 The table was tucked away at the back of the bar, which was busier then normal for a Thursday night, so they hadn’t seen Zayn And I’s confrontation. They seemed to be oblivious as they laughed over their pints.  I took my seat next to Liam, who still had Clancy sitting on his lap. I crossed one leg over the other under the table and rested my head in my hand as I stared at my fresh pint of cider, which I had yet to touch. I hope Zayn had left as I sighed and checked over my shoulder to make sure he was no longer in sight. He wasn’t. But I for some reason that made me feel more anxious rather than relieved.

 As I looked back at the group they were all listening to Niall’s story about that one time when he got so drunk he woke up the next morning in a bush, just outside his hall of residence, missing a shoe and not knowing how he got there.

I finally looked up at Niall who was across from me. His face so filled with laughter and pure joy like it always was. I don’t think I have ever seen that kid not smile. Like ever. I liked to refer to him as ‘The Irish One’ because he was just that. I glanced over at Harry who was laughing softly at Niall’s story. He must have felt me looking at him because his green eyes met mine and I could tell that he knew something was wrong. He subtly mouthed “You right?” just before taking a drink of his pint. I responded with a simple nod and finally took a huge gulp of my drink. He smiled softly at me and I smiled back quickly before anyone had noticed our small exchange.