You make it so hard,
So damn hard to keep these words at bay.
I told myself,
Promised myself even,
That I wouldn't say these words before you.
It was your job to do so.
Ridiculous really, to make it seem as if it's a chore that you must accomplish.
But it is, in a way.
For I won't say it first, especially not over text.
When it is said, it should be in person.
Will it be said?
Who knows, really.
People could say it's too early or too fast.
Is it, though?
If you know in your heart, that it's true, then it's never too early.
The only issue would be who says it first.
I already broke one promise myself, in making you my wallpaper first.
I will not break this one.
It seems like something so small, so insignificant.
Those words are anything but.
They're everything.
You hear all the stories of girls saying it first and the guys repeating the words back, regardless of if it's true or not.
I want yours to be true, only speak those words to me if they're true.
That's why you must say them first, it's the only way I'll know you feel the same way.
The only way I'll know you're serious about me, about the words you're speaking.
I've had people say it before, saying those dreadful words before I was ready.
And yet, I repeated them back all the same.
I don't want that to be us, that's not us.
But damn it all, if it's not the hardest thing I've ever done.
Keeping these words to myself is a blessing and a curse.
But I'll keep them to myself, holding them like a cherished secret near my heart.
For these words are everything and anything.
The words that'll eventually be freed,
And as they spill from my lips,
I know they'll feel like nothing I've ever felt before.
A feeling I can't wait to share,
As I text you back the sweet words you send to me.
The words that are a whisper away from the ones I wish to speak,
But will have the chance to say eventually.
I didn't even have to say the words, the ones in which I wish to speak.
You thought the words to yourself, knowing truly, what I wish to say.
The words I will not write upon this page, for they are the secret I'm forced to keep.
The secret I will speak, only once the clock strikes upon its evenings peak.
Fortunately for me, the evening has hit its lonely peak.
Will I speak these foreign words freely?
Or whisper them to the star filled sky?
The sky in which holds all the secrets of the lovers.
Only time will tell.
But until then,
P.S. I love you.
