Reality not fantasy

Chapter 1

Natalie's P.O.V.

I stood there at the edge of the cliff, holding on to the railings tight. Once I let go of that I'll be free. Free from all the guilt I feel every single time I remember that my mom's gone and it's all because of me. Wind blew against my dark black hair, covering half of my face. tears falling down my ocean blue eyes. Once I let go I'll be free from all the pain HE had caused me. Maybe just maybe it wouldn't hurt this much if my mom's still here but she's not and it's all my fault.

FLASHBACK

"No stop the car. I hate you. I hate you so so much," I  shouted at my mom. She was driving over the speed limit, taking me away from our old house.

"Natalie, please don't do this to me," she begged, looking away from the road and letting go of the steering wheel.

The next events happened so fast and before I knew it, she's gone.There were large headlights, horns blaring, screams, a crash, then nothing as darkness overcame.

Where am I? What am I doing here? I couldn't move a bit and my head hurts so much, I can't even open my eyes.

"Natalie," I heard my dad call me. With great effort, I finally opened them. Taking in all the details around me. 

"Dad? Why am I here? Why are you crying?" I asked with my 6 year old voice.

"Y-you fell down the stairs and hit your head," he replied, smiling, but I could tell it was fake.

"How come I can't remember?" I asked him.

"Selective memory loss," he simply  stated. Somehow it feels like he's not telling th truth

END OF FLASHBACK

Everyone assumed I don't remember anything and instead lied to me about everything. And that's just my exact problem, I remember every single thing that happened to me, including the time where the person I'm in love with used me to get closer to my best friend and worst of all I can't seem to forget everything they said and it hurts more than I've ever let anyone see. Looking down at my wrists full of cuts I recently made only reminds me of what caused me to do it. If I let go now I'll surely die maybe either from the fall or from the raging waters of the ocean since I don't even know how to swim.

"Sorry," I whispered silently as the last tears fell before I let go of the only thing separating me from sweet death, before I let go of my only life line.  For a moment, before I hit the cold water I felt like flying, I felt free and for a moment, I felt happy. But that didn't last long since within seconds the ocean was swallowing me whole. Instead of fighting for air, all I did was let it swallow me, all I did was wait for death to come and the last thing I saw, was another person jumping off the cliff after me before I finally lost consciousness.