not as strong as you think i am (i'm no superman) [dalkenzie]

Chapter 3

The drive home was quiet, even with MacKenzie's thoughts. There was nothing left for him to do at the hospital; now Dalton's parents had so many arrangements to make it was best to just let them be. They reassured Mack they'd let him know about their son's condition when possible and profusely thanked him for being the hero.

"I don't feel like a hero," he muttered to himself and neared his driveway.

Huh, Mom and Dad's car was already parked. They were actually home. He could've pinched himself but he knew today was no long and crazy dream.

The scent of an ordered dinner hit his nose as he opened the door, at least that was familiar. "Uh, hello?" came out more tired than he intended.

Mom emerged from upstairs, smartly dressed as usual as if she'd already been planning to go out. "MacKenzie! You had your phone off and we couldn't call you back after your voice mail."

"Oh." Mack blinked. If it weren't for Mom's tone of voice he could've sworn he was being reprimanded. That certainly would've warranted pinching himself. "Yeah. Sorry."

"Is Dalton all right?"

MacKenzie nodded and just let his backpack slide off his shoulders as he slumped into his chair at the table, taking much of his willpower to not faceplant right into the food. He felt the hand on his shoulder, much lighter than Kiva's but had to be with the same intent, right?

"You did the right thing, dear."

At least that was less difficult to question than whether or not he was actually a 'good boy'.

***

Typically MacKenzie would have felt a little joy at having both parents around for dinner for once, but everything that happened today had shriveled his stomach and he only managed half his plate before pushing it away.

"I got a lot of reading to do for tomorrow, anyway," was his muttered excuse before going up to his room.

That ended up being a futile effort as well. Even with his American History textbook propped on his waist as he laid back, MacKenzie's eyes only slid over the text that had melted into so much gobbledygook. Thinking had become impossible, except thinking of Dalton now all by himself in that hospital.

With a sigh he pulled his phone from his pocket. There was some other important reading to do. If there'd been any sign he missed, anything at all, Mack had to know what to look out for.

He first browsed through a few months' worth backwards of texts and pictures from Dalton, carefully trying to read in between the lines and finding no clues. The only ones coming close were from when his grandmother had a health scare- and even then that was something normal to feel worried over, right?

MacKenzie ran a careful finger to underline the initial World spinning, help text and then opened the web browser to Dalton's Tumblr. He personally preferred Instagram, but Dalton would like to send him screenshots of posts that were so stupid they were hilarious, or whatever the newest meme was, or even cute/sexy couple pictures accompanied by a smiley face or wink. But again, the only posts he could find that were even remotely sad were ones reblogged during said health scare.

Finally he began looking up the addresses Dr. London gave him, again reading everything carefully as possible. They outlined the differences between depressive and manic episodes, signs of what may happen to people during these episodes, and the various treatment options available. MacKenzie felt his eyes stinging for probably the dozenth time that day as he tried to imagine how it could possibly be for a child to feel something wasn't right with them but they didn't know how to say it.

He hiccuped in place of a sob and rubbed a sleeve over his eyes. "Oh, babe..." he sighed in empathy for someone he loved so much that didn't deserve this.

And speaking of love, he read through a page about bipolar disorder and relationships. The written focus was more towards married couples than teenagers but the philosophies were basic enough about the other partner being respectful and understanding. Hell, he and Dalton were like that towards each other anyway.

The only blip in his stomach occurred was when he read the advice geared towards the partner with the disorder. It emphasized that as soon as the relationship looked to be getting serious that was information important to disclose as much as any other illness.

MacKenzie thought back to that moment, almost two years ago and he and Dalton were in the overlook in the park, sitting on the car engine and fingers lazily linking as they watched the sky. The only difficulty had that come up was that Mack wasn't out to his parents yet. Dalton hadn't taken the opportunity to...

Mack flopped back on his mattress, covering his face and sighing. Did he fool me? Did he lie to me? How am I supposed to be feeling about this? Because the gnawing pain that had evolved from the blip didn't seem to be the answer.

He honestly tried to think. If Dalton had told him then, would he have been scared off and ran, or would he be doing what he was doing now, getting informed so he could understand much as he could? He tried to think it was the latter, but he'd still been a different person a couple years ago before gaining more confidence in himself.

"Shit, I'm the worst person ever," MacKenzie muttered to himself and rolled onto his side.

Visiting would be impossible since he wasn't a blood relative, and he doubted Dalton would have his phone with him either so no messages.

The best he could do for now was was cling to both hopes that Dalton would be out soon and MacKenzie could face this anxiety head-on.