Tears of an Angel

Kayely

Broken. That's what she was. Broken and lost. If only she could disappear, become a shadow in the background.

Kayely hid under the table as the shouts got louder. Her old childhood hiding spot was a tight fit now, but it had always been a safe place. The only safe place. He never came into the kitchen, never came looking for her when she hid. The shouts got louder and Kayely covered her ears. No sound, no sight, no feeling.

She wasn't sure how long she hid there under the table, but her mother finally found her. "Kayely? Baby, you can come out now. He's asleep."

Cautiously Kayely crawled to the edge of the table. Her mother stood by the counter with a newly busted lip and swollen cheek. With out a sound Kayely went to the fridge and pulled frozen peas out. No words were said. Then again nothing was ever said, not from Kayely.

No one knew how long it had been since she'd spoken. In fact sometimes her mother wondered if she had ever talked at all. "Kayely? Can you talk to me?" Silence was all that met her questions. Tears spilled from her eyes. "Can you say anything at all?" Still nothing. Her mother sat down at the table. "You know I never meant for things to go so wrong. I wish I could leave, or make him leave."

Kayely looked at her mother and cocked her head slightly. Make him go away? Was that possible? No. He would always be here. The pain would never go away. It would only grow worse and worse, destroying everything it touched.

A knock at the door sent her mother off. When she returned Aunt Kelsey came with her. "Hey Kayely. You okay?"

There was no answer of course, not even a nod. Kelsey sighed and sat down at the table with her sister. "Jane, you have to get out of here. Haven't you had enough of this? And Kayely? She doesn't even speak. She's seventeen years old and I don't ever remember hearing the sound of her voice."

"I know Kels, I know."

"Well if you know why do you stay?" She grabbed her sister's hands. "Me and Michael would help you. We have an apartment waiting for all of us. Just say the word."

Her sister sighed. "No. I can't Kels."

Kelsey stood and walked to the kitchen door. She turned before going and said. "You know, I knew you were shy and soft, but I never thought you were selfish." With that she was gone.

Mother and daughter were left in the same room. Eventually KAyely made to leave the kitchen but was stopped when her mother whispered. "Kayely? Do you want to leave? Do you want him gone?"

Silence and then Kayely treaded upstairs. When she was in her room she fell to her knees and slid under the bed to pull out a large pocket knife. She opened it and stared at the shining blade, mesmerized by the glimmer.

So beautiful, yet deadly. She twisted it around and around, watching the light caress it's smooth surface and sharp edge. Pain wasn't meant to be beautiful. It was meant to scar. To tear and slash at its victim until there was nothing left but the feeling, the caressing agony.

'Kayely? Can you say anything at all?' Her mothers words replayed in her head as she made three slashes across each wrist. First came the pain, then the sting, and then the blessed numbness. Nothing had ever felt so good as feeling nothing at all. She laid on her floor staring up at the cieling, the warmth slowly fading to the cold. Visions of her father's violence danced in front of her eyes. Scenes of her mother's torture, of her own. This was all she'd ever known.

After a while she stumbled to her feet and went to her small bathroom and rinsed away the only proof of her feeling. She grabbed a towel and cleaned up the mess on her room floor, then climbed into bed.