Step 5: Hanging Out With Guys.
Surprise surprise, I have friends. It's barely been a month and I have a good group of friends. Good as in good-looking and also #squadgoals. We're those people at the bar that will make the people around us super uncomfortable.
So. Let me introduce you to them.
We have me. Myra. Hello. And, I love churros, for all of you that care.
Then we have Bailee Tristan. Hazel eyes and hair to match, a beauty spot right above her lip and a glistening white smile to complement. She is the definition of beautiful and she can genuinely make you laugh to the point where your stomach hurts.
Here's someone you don't know. Drum roll for Lydia Bodamier, please. She's supposed to be a model, I kid you not. To be quite frank, I feel so ugly with these guys. Even when they are makeup free, with sweatpants on and a stuffy nose, I am still ugly. Its surprise though that Lydia doesn't have a boyfriend because every guy -- as well as the lesbians -- are crushing hard on her.
Then we have Alec Black. No, he's not related to Sirius Black, in case you were wondering. He's your definition of preppy boy but that's only the outlook. Inside, he's super, super gay and pretty chill. People love him, he's hilarious. The whole colored eyes and vegan lifestyle has all the gays after him. But too bad for them, he's taken bacon.
FYI, I am Pakistani (with pride) but don't stereotype me as being a homophobe. As long as everyone's happy, I am too. Go LGBTQ!
Finally, we have the one and only Quinn River. He is adorable. Heart eyes, drooling, puppy face adorable. He looks ten but I swear to you, he's of age. If you see a blonde haired kid swaying drunkenly on the campus, don't call the cops, he's legally allowed to drink. Oh, by the way, he's straight as a stick and he's pretty hot. Well, as hot as you think Jacob Saggytits is. Oh, I mean, Jacob Sartorius.
So, that's my friendship group. We discuss cases together, gossip like aunties and judge like uncles. But there's a tiny, mini hiccup in the way. My parents. They want a picture of everything I am doing. The air I'm breathing in, the brand of water I'm drinking and what not.
"Beta, sasta wala pani piyo" Ammi tells me "Woh expensive wala mut piyo"
"But amma, the pH 7 one is healthier" I explain to her
"Hai? LMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ kuch bhi ho. Sasta wala piyo. Pese pear seh nahi girte hain" She lectures.
That's the day I decided to finally get a job. So I can stop them from taunting me. I currently work at Wallmart as a clerk. Life's good.
So, continuing with that hiccup. One unfortunate evening, my friends and I went to a McDonalds joint on the outskirts of Boston. Never would I have ever thought that on the same day and time Aunty Parveen would be sitting there with her obnoxious family snitching on me. In case you haven't caught on, she freaking called my mother up ASAP and told her about my friends and exaggerated things a lot. It's called 'mirch masala-ing'. Pakistanis do it all the goddamn time.
Alec had his arm lazily draped, playing with my hair subconsciously. As soon as I saw that familiar glare walking into the restaurant, I shoved his hand aside.
"Ouch, gosh, what was that for?" Alec asks, rubbing his arm
"My aunt is here, guys. Abort fucking mission. I need you two to hide" I whisper to them, pointing at Alec and Quinn.
Them not being desi, they decided that it will be funny to fuck with me even more. Quinn leaned in and began whispering hilarious shit into my ear and made it look seductive while Alec would caress my arm, biting his lip. All the while, my two very best friends, sat there and laughed. Jackasses.
It was truly a site to see. I looked like a complete an utter slut. Not the reputation I am looking for.
Gathering up my courage, I shoved the two off of me and went to say salaam, trying to act completely natural. I tried to make myself believe that they did not see whatever went down, but I was so sure they did.
Which brings me back to present day. Amma and aboo both got on the line and flipped out on me. They threatened me, disowned me multiple times, swore and cursed me and worst of all, amma was ready to pull me out of the school. By the time I managed to calm them down, amma was on the verge of having a Britney Spears style 2007 meltdown. Oof, what a day.
I know they are still mad and they do not believe me at all. Damn, I hate aunties. They should go get a life. The anger within me was so much worse than what amma was feeling, I guarantee it. There was no outlet for all this anger and I had so much work to do.
I was not only angry at Aunty Parveen, but I am also mad at my parents. They should have believed their daughter, don't you think?
*
A/N
Long chapter, ya'll. Hope you enjoy it.
Glossary:
Beta, sasta wala pani piyo: Dear, drink the cheap water.
Woh expensive wala mut piyo: Don't drink the expensive one.
Hai? LMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ kuch bhi ho. Sasta wala piyo. Pese pear seh nahi girte hain: What? LMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ whatever it is. Drink the cheap one. Money doesn't fall from trees.
Mirch masala: The art of desi exaggeration.
Salaam: Greetings.
