Love in the Dark (Camren)

1

My doctor told me to write this.

It's funny, you know? How these days the only places I know are school and home. How time seems to go as slow as a caterpillar crossing the yellow brick road. Nothing is the way it was before. Before I knew the truth. I miss those days. When twenty four hours seemed like forever, and all I had to worry about were chores and school work.

I can't even sleep. Avoiding windows and speeding to and from school, and failing most of my classes, and crying. That is all I do. On the weekends I lock myself in my bedroom and even if it's ninety degrees inside—I don't dare to open the window in fear of seeing her again although it's been weeks. I remember it so  vividly. The way I felt after she hurt me, and the way every single doctor treated me like I was the most fragile thing in that hospital. But how could I tell them the truth? The truth would not cut it, not for them, not for my parents, not for anyone. All I could do for weeks was stay quiet.

Sometimes silence is the best answer.

And then there's time. Time is something I never had enough with Lauren. I hate that word because of that very reason. It's difficult to try to comprehend how much things can change in a year. How people can change in a year. Around this time, one year ago, everything was completely different. I was completely different. I was...happy. That's a word I haven't used in a long time. I don't know how it feels like anymore.

My doctor told me to write this, to clear my head, to free myself. My doctor told me to write this so that I could try to fix myself. Little does the old man know there's nothing worth fixing.

Not without Lauren.