I will always love you

Alec's POV
My artwork was beautiful, at least I thought so. The red flowers that adorned my arms and thighs.
"Stupid"
"Fag"
"Coward"
"Idiot"
All those words filled my mind with each cut. Then I realize how worthless I am, how much everyone hates me. So I get out a pen and four pieces of paper and addressed them to the following people Jace, Izzy, Mom and Dad, and Magnus. Then I started writing.

        "To Jace
               "Thank you for putting up with me. I'm sorry I couldn't be a better parabatai, that I saw you as a brother while I wasn't one to you. I'm sorry that I couldn't protect you from everything that happened. I'm sorry for everything I did to you. You are strong enough to go through with this, so please take care of Izzy when I'm gone. Make sure she doesn't blame herself for me like she did for Max it wasn't her fault it was mine. So to my brother, my parabatai, my best friend goodbye.
     Alec Lightwood"
         
The next letter was to Izzy
         
                "Hey Izzy,
             First you should know that you are strong enough to get through this, you are the strongest person I know you gave me strength until I found Magnus. You made me feel happy with how I felt about boys. You made me stronger, please don't feel responsible for this. You deserve everything you deserve happiness. You don't deserve a fag for a brother. Take care of yourself for me and for Max. Be strong Izzy, I love you.
Your big brother, Alec"

Next my parents
         "Dear Mom and Dad
         I understand if you're happy that I did this, now you don't have a fag for a son. Please don't blame Magnus or Izzy or Jace, know that this was my decision to do this. You don't love me, how could you love a monster and an idiot, the person who made you a joke within the Clave. My ring is in the second drawer in my dresser maybe you could give it to a more worthy Lightwood. I don't deserve the name. I'm sorry
Alec"

The last letter was for Magnus
       "Magnus
             Where do I begin. You are perfect, you showed me something that I thought I could never have. You showed me love. I had to ruin it, I was so stupid with this obsession of spending the rest of our lives together to the point where I lost you. I will always love you no matter what happens, I will miss you as I see you fall in love with someone else while I'm on the other side. You deserve happiness not some closeted gay Shadowhunter that can't even say the word out loud. You deserve someone better than me. You don't deserve someone that will die eventually. You deserve someone that will give you an eternity. If I ever come back please give me another chance, please let me love you. That is all I ask. I love you
Alexander Lightwood"

        The Alexander was hard to write. So I drew the heat rune on all four of the letters and walked to the roof of the institute. Thankfully no one was there to stop me, Mom and Dad were in Idris, Izzy was with Simon, Jace was with Clary, and Magnus well he wouldn't care, he was probably happy to get the letter.
   
         I looked over the roof and saw an empty street, it's a good thing that jumping won't take much effort due to the blood coming from my wrists and legs. One step and everyone would be happy, just one step. "Alexander" a soft voice called out, I knew who it was. "Alec!" Magnus cried. Then it all become to much because I was losing so much blood "Alec!" Magnus screamed as I feel on the roof. I could feel his arms around me as everything went black then the lights went out.

"Alexander" Magnus whispered. I opened my eyes slowly to see that I was in my room.
    
      "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING,"Magnus yells

    "Killing yourself, you know how everyone would feel after losing Max. You're lucky I deleted the other fire messages before anyone saw them! Are you just not going to say anything?" I then realize how mad I made him.

        "I'm sorry, Magnus.........you didn't have to save me," I whispered
      
        "Alec" Magnus answers   

"I know you only came because you know that everyone would blame you, it's fine I promise I won't do it again." Placing my hand up like I was making a vow.

     "Alexander" Magnus said with tears in his eyes.

      "Please just go, you don't have to be here, I get it I'm an idiot, I'll be fine just don't tell anyone. That's the last thing I want from you before you find an eternity with someone."

      "Alec, you could have died, I did it to save you, I still love you Alec" Magnus shuttered
      
          "No you don't, I don't deserve you, you are just saying these things so that I won't do it again. I won't okay"

     "Alec please, come back to me." Magnus begged and I shook my head because I knew that he deserves someone better than me. He walked out and I closed my eyes and went to sleep.

   Magnus POV

       After Alec told me to leave I walked out the room but I didn't leave. Once I saw that he was sleeping I went into his room and looked at him, I didn't realize how much depression and self hatred I put him through, while he was sleeping I started healing all the cuts till there was no trace of any harm.

         I still felt like it was my fault, he thinks he doesn't deserve my love, I don't deserve his. So I curled up next to him and whispered into his ear, "I will never stop loving you my Angel." as sleep claimed me now.

     Okay my fellow Malec shippers should I continue please let me know you're feedback in the comments BTW
Alec Lightwood: Matthew Daddario

Magnus Bane: Harry Shum Jr