Entwined

Act #2

2012, September 14th, Friday (Hayley is 15, Jase is 16)

LET IT BE KNOWN that Hayley Reed, that means me, has had the biggest and longest crush on Jase Matthews since forever.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

I mean seriously, I'm his soulmate. He's aware of that and I certainly am faced with a glaring reminder of it every time my mind wanders. I'm sure he can feel it too. He can feel that wave of calm that spreads when he's with me, the absolute chaotic burst he feels in his heart when he sees that I'm sad, and raw anger when he knows I'm hurt. If I can feel it, he does too.

So why does Jason feel so unattainable to me?

It's either because he's incredibly dense and emotionally and physically numb or maybe, just maybe, he doesn't like me?

It's too hard for me to process that.

I jump to my bed and sigh as I look at the ceiling. I reach into my right jean pocket and take out my phone. I'll call J and just ask him. I can do this, come on Hayley. He's not a stranger to you, if he didn't like you, he wouldn't be wasting his time with you.

He picks up on the first ring.

"Hay, I'm sorry but I'm busy." I note that he sounds very sad to tell me this.

I roll my eyes. "Jase, just take a break from schoolwork please?" I mumble.

I can practically see him weighing it out. Schoolwork or Hayley?

"Okay. I'm tired anyway." Ha! See, internal monologue? You have nothing to worry about.

"Jase," I pause and sigh. "How would you react if you knew I liked somebody?"

There's a long period of silence that stretches out. "Do you, Hayley?" He asks in an equally solemn tone.

"I do."

The response this time is in an instant.

"Who is it?" You.

I frown. "Can I ask you what you feel right now please?" This is what I've always asked him. He never shares a lot and just contains every feeling and emotion inside.

"Shit, Hay. I don't know."

"Everybody feels something Jase. Just tell me please." I whisper.

"I don't know. Can you please just tell me who this guy is?" He's angry.

"I won't until you tell me, Jason."

"Just tell me, Hay." Yup, he's angry.

My voice raises. "I can't if you don't!"

"Then why did you ask and call me then." He curses and the line goes dead.

I turn, face my head on the pillow and scream. How frustrating. All I feel now is guilt and anger and sadness. He's mad at me, I know. My skin feels hot and the guilt and worry are just pressing on me.

Before I sleep, my phone beeps. A text.

I felt angry and irritated and jealous.

That was his way of saying sorry.

I reply. The guy I liked was you.

I turn off the lamp beside my bed and sleep.