What Lies Beneath The Smile

Chapter 2

I see him when I go to sleep.

I see him when I wake up.

I see him when I go to school.

I see him all the time.

His green-blue eyes.

His blonde hair.

His perfect body.

The way he walks.

The way he talks.

He

is

perfect.

I have to see him in 2 of my classes when I see him I am speechless.

But it will never ever happen.

Why, you ask?

He is cool, I am a nerd.

He is loud, I am quiet.

He has a perfect body, I have well i like to describe it as flab and fat which is totally nasty.

NEVER EVER in a million years will it happen, but hey I don't see why you cant dream. Without dreaming where would any of us be? Although there is a certain time where you cant have your head up your bum and you have to snap back to reality. Why am I saying all this in my head?

Everyday the day goes by the same as the other. I wake up get ready for school. Come home from school. Do my homework. Read. Eat dinner. Read more. Go to sleep. That is my day everyday I swear I wish I had a life. No what I really wish is that I had a life inside of me. Blah blah blah I am only fifteen I should not be talking like this but I don't care.

All I want.

That's it.

Something to care for.

Something to live for.

My own.

A baby.

Named Serenity or named Braden.

My life would be complete.

Say whatever you want but I don't care.

I am not a slut, a hoe, a bitch, but what I am is fat, ugly, and a nerd. I understand that and I am fine with that. A baby is just another dream of mine. I can afford one to I have not spent a dime in my life of unnecessary stuff so I have about three thousand dollars saved up. pretty good for fifteen if I say so myself. Just think when I turn sixteen I can work! That is even more money! I will by myself an apartment when I am eighteen just to get out of here.

Okay dang it can not be oh my gosh did I forget to mention I get my homework checked. Well I have 10 minutes to do my homework. "Whew no more writing in my diary" I thought to myself

                                                             30 MINUTES PASS

Okay back to writing. So my homework got checked. I finished just in time thank goodness if it was not done I would be grounded from like reading or something. Wow that sounds lame! Oh well it was time for dinner now and I could not be late I don't think I would be able to handle the "death glare again"

I went downstairs and I could not believe it I was early! That was a first in well forever. I guess I really do fear this stupid, over protective man, that is not good. I guess there goes the baby idea for a while. Hm oh well setting that to the side.

I saw my dad and suddenly perked up so he would not get mad at me if I didn't seem happy or something. I'm not quite sure it was a natural reflect.

"Hi dad how are you it has been a while since we talked"

"Elaina"

I cringed as he said that although his voice was calm and may I dare say apologetic.

"uh, um yeah dad" I said probably with obvious fear in my voice

"I just wanted to erm um uh um, apologize for what happened at the table I just had a bad day at work I lost a patient so I was devastated" ( He is a doctor at the hospital)

"Dad you don't have to" I then saw him get upset because he thought I was not excepting his apology "don't worry dad it's okay I forgive you" his face got a little less gloomy.

"So what are we eating for dinner I am hungry." I said so that things would hopefully be less awkward.

"well, I felt bad so you and I are going out to eat to any place of your choice mom could go if you want her to b-"

"No dad thanks I love you(did I really just say that)  let me get ready I will be glad to go to dinner with just you" I rudely interrupted but with kind words so I guess they just kind of cancelled each other out. Well I hope so at least.

Hmmm, I thought to myself should I get ready and go or write this in my diary, no the diary can wait. Hold on just a second is he actually letting me pick out what I want to wear...?

What did I miss. Did mom talk to him? Oh well it doesn't matter. If she did it worked, maybe now I can have a baby, I thought to myself.

Anyways I am going to have a great time at dinner. My dad and I. The person just about a week ago I couldn't stand.

Thoughts flooded through my mind I became nervous, not scared , nervous what if I say something wrong what if he is expecting this and that millions of thoughts raced through my mind.

I suddenly took a deep breath. Walked down stairs confidently and waited for him. Maybe he is nervous like me, I guess I will find out.

By the time we got to dinner I could eat a horse! (metaphorically speaking of course haha that would be crazy. Anyways it was my turn to order and I chose to just have a salad. The salads here were as big as mountains though. Anyways this got awkward really quick...

"Soooo dad how are you" I said trying to start any kind of conversation.

"I am doing okay what about you"

"good, good" that is about as far as the conversation got yeah pathetic but it wasn't a bad experience it was just not a very good one but it could have been much worst.

When we got home he said how he was proud of me for everything have achieved in life and stuff like that.

But if only he knew that he didn't have one ounce of knowledge about the real me. The truth is What lies beneath the smile.

 Thank you for reading this chapter was a little longer but I am not sure if anyone is going to read this or want to read more so I need 1 comment or vote to write another chapter also suggestions please? hope you enjoyed!