Olivia POV
My parents always say that they don't think I'm stupid, but I know they do. I know my mom didn't take me seriously when I told her that I have separation anxiety. She gets this look on her face when she's trying not to laugh and she thinks no one can tell but I've known her for eleven years, so I know when she wants to laugh.
And that's the look she had on her face last night when I told her about the WebMD thing. So I know she didn't take me seriously. But even this morning when I was getting on the bus to go to the competition I really just wanted to stay with my parents. Last night all the girls on the competition team had a sleepover but I didn't go because I just really wanted to stay with my mom.
Luke almost took her away from us. And she just lost a child. I feel like she needs us now more than ever but she's not saying anything. She tries to be happy and tries to act like everything is good but I've read about abuse on WebMD and I know she has to be traumatized. Maybe that's what she talks to her therapist about all the time. I don't know. I'm just worried about her. And whenever I'm away from her I get the worst feeling in the pit of my stomach. She said she has a restraining order against Luke so he can't get within 100 feet of her, but do restraining orders really stop anyone?
"Livy, come on! We're gonna be late," my friend Penelope said, tugging on the sleeve of my warm up jacket.
I didn't even notice that everyone had gotten off of the bus. I grabbed my bag and rushed after her, grabbing her hand as we walked into the theater where the competition was taking place together. I'm so nervous. I don't know if it's just because I'm away from my mom or because the last time I had a solo I ran off stage and forgot it. And my dance teacher said that if that happens again, I won't get another solo for a long time. My mom will probably fight her on that but I just don't wanna take my chances.
We got to our dressing room and set our stuff up to start getting ready. All the girls were waiting for their parents to arrive, and I was waiting for the same thing so I just kept brushing my hair over and over. We had a while before we actually had to go onstage but Gia, my dance teacher, gets mad when we sit around and do nothing so I had to look busy.
About twenty minutes later my mom came in and everyone waved to her. Not because she was famous but because she hosts the best sleepovers and makeup companies always give her free makeup so she gives it to all of us for competitions.
"Why aren't you ready?" She asked as she took the seat next to me.
I just shrugged because I felt like if I opened my mouth I would throw up. The worst part about all of this is the fact that it's my birthday. And my solo, appropriately titled, was called "birthday." My parents said that after the competition we can celebrate but all of this anxiousness has been making me tired so I kind of just want to go to sleep.
"Well, you need to start getting ready. How are you supposed to be wearing your hair?" She questioned.
I swallowed the bile that was rising in my throat and looked over at her. I wasn't supposed to know about all of her injuries but I had overheard the doctor when she was in the hospital after Luke beat her the last time. She had a wire in her jaw but no one could see it. And since he broke her nose she had to get a subtle nose job. Not a lot of people had picked up on it but she's my mother so I knew.
"In a bun," I breathed out, offering my brush to her.
Usually I'd be listening to my music and stretching, but my stomach is cramping and I feel like if I do anything I'm going to throw up. So I focused on the feel of my mom brushing my hair up into a perfect bun. She had to use at least half a bottle of hairspray to keep it up, and she was basically forcing my clip into my head, but I didn't whine like I usually would.
