Suicide attempt

T W O

I sigh heavily as I make my way back home. I mean, I love Niall but he can be a little much sometimes. Right now I just kind of want to be alone,get used to the changes,used to the new sights and smells and people. I am happy that he thought of me though, rarely does anyone want to visit me, nor text me since last summer, when things just started to go wrong. Except on social media, which i'm basically a different person there. Happy, smiley "me". But, I wont complain. I make the way up the brick steps and open the door making my way up to my room. I walk into my room and see Niall passed out on my bed and laugh quietly. Just like him, I think to myself. I walk over and shake him quietly. He groans and rolls off the bed. That sure wakes him up. "Harry uh sorry" Niall says sheepishly. He gets up and sits next to me on the bed. I stare off in the distance at something in my room. " Hows the new city?" Niall asks, genuinely interested. "Fine" I tell him." How are you doing?" he asked. I look at my feet now, anything to avoid eye contact with him. It will just bring up old memories, bad ones. Make me sad. Even more sad than I already am. You see, me and Niall were friends with a boy named Liam. We would spend every waking second with each other, laughing, talking on the phone, watching movies, you name it, they were always together. Everyone referred to them as "Harry ,Niall, and Liam". That's just how it was. Until last summer. Liam committed suicide. Everyone was surprised, because he was such a happy young boy, but in the inside he was dying. His dad was a drunk and his mom was always away for work. He got bullied at school, but I stood up for him and he stood up for me. The last night he was alive, I was  walking home in the rain from the book store, he insisted to give me a ride but I declined, loving to walk alone at night anyways. I got the news that night, his mom called, told me, and I dropped to my knees, getting soaking wet form the pouring rain. But I didn't care.  I couldn't believe he was gone. I stood there, sobbing and asking him "Why did you leave me ? Why did you have to go?" I should have been with him, maybe I could have changed what he had done that night, maybe he would still be alive. But now every time I look at Niall I think of Liam. I think of how much I miss him, I think of how I could've changed what he had done, I think of how I could've been better to him... But he's gone. And I can't change that.

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Niall was still here, watching a film that he picked out. I sat in my bed next to him, typing on my computer. Niall curiously looked over to what I was writing, but sheepishly looked away when I caught him looking. "It's okay Ni, i'm just writing poems, you can look if you want" I said quietly, not wanting to wake my mother, it was 2:00 am after all. He turned on his side and rested his head on my shoulder.