“If you love someone, say it or the moment will pass.” -Anon
I was crying when I woke up. I had a horrible dream again and it made me feel scared of sleeping.
Sitting up on my bed, I ran my fingers through my messy hair as I tried to remember everything. But the memory of those nightmares always ended up in a blur.
And I’d been like this for days now.
The sudden ringing of my phone startled me and brought me back to my senses. I reached for it on my bedside table and my heart immediately leaped.
It was an overseas call from my mom. She was in Canada and living with her new family. “Mom?” I could hear cars engine from the background. Maybe she was already on her way home from work.
“Hello, sweetheart! Did I wake you up?” The sweet sound of my mother’s voice washed my dreadfulness out of my system.
I found myself smiling. “No you didn’t. I was already awake when you called. Are you already on your way home?” I stood up from my bed, wore my slippers on and stepped toward my windows to open it. I was blinded by the morning sun and the cool breeze of January welcomed me. I began to feel cold.
“Yap. And I had a very busy day.” Mom replied and exhaustion was obvious with her tone. She was a private school principal and it never surprised me anymore with her schedule.
“You better rest when you arrived home, Mom. I wish I was there so I could take care of you.” I said, missing her more and more each day.
“Live with me now then, sweetheart. You know I’m dying to be with you again.” There was longing on my mother’s voice.
“But I can’t, Mom. You know that. I still have school here and my dream job is here.”
“Sweetheart, this country can offer you more than anything the Philippines has. You have a better future here. I assure you that.”
“I know that, Mom. But... I-I can’t just leave. I have reasons to stay.” It took me moments before my next words came out of my mouth. “I-I can’t leave Niall, Mom. You know that, right?”
Ever since Mom knew that after so many years of being best friends with Niall, I’d already fallen in love with him. Unfortunately, I was too shy to admit my true feelings towards him. I... I just didn’t know how.
And I promised his promised his parents after they died that I would never leave him alone. And that I would always care and love Niall as much as his parents loved him.
“Oh my princess,” Mom took a deep breath on the other side of the phone. “I love you. You know that always, right?”
I nodded my head as an answer though I knew that she wouldn’t see it. “I love you more, Mom. I miss you.”
“I’m missing you every day. Take care of yourself, okay? And I’ll talk to you later.” There was a smile on my mother’s voice. But before she hung up, I asked her to kiss my new baby stepsister for me.
I felt good after talking to Mom. It’d been days since the last time I talked to her. And it’d been two days since the last time I’d seen her after she left for Canada where she met her new husband, Will who worked as a writer in a sports magazine in Toronto.
After taking a quick shower and dressing up for school, I made my way to my small kitchen. I was living in a small apartment and it was already enough for me. I fried eggs, toasted bread and made myself a cup of hot chocolate.
As I was busy reviewing my notes, I heard small knocks on my door.
“Good morning!” I was surprised after Niall wrapped me in a tight hug, leaving me breathless. He was wearing a red hooded shirt and a grey sweat pants. With the sight of his sweat damp hair and flushed cheeks, I was sure that he just came from a morning jog. “Missed you!” He winked and messed my hair playfully.
