Its finallly my fone turn... gawdd like my turns seem smaller and smaller every day....im so sad (not really) but i had ran away to go play in the dirt at sweep leaves into piles at 11pm cuz for some reason im only ok when im by myself lately. Not that i wanna be but i suddenly feel better if i escape for a while.. but when i came back in...." can i pleeeeeeze play with the fone now you have had it like all day every day"... dun dun dunnnn "ummm bad newzz.. it glitched.. i did a factory reset".... but of corse you did. Ya know you do that way tooo much. Who resets there fone so much they just give up on naming contact and JUST LEAVES the horrible DREDDED life is good life is bad LALALA ringtone on FOREVERRRR THIS is why i forbid you to buy a gun...You do realize that my Twitter account name is made of emojis that aren't on this phone. I did a tripple blue heartbeat when i had my nexus that SOMEONE smashed against the wall... so trying to login is gonna be super dee duper fun. I dont even know my stupid @ cuz i left it on the assigned one and was to computer dumb to change it (or this fone just really sux and it wont let me) one of the 2... ughhhh. I mean reallyyy ughhhh.. i guess it dosnt matter that much I doubt anyone will miss me but still. Its the principality... maybe ill get lucky and figure it out or just have to start all over again for like the millionth time... whatevaaaa... anyway all my stuff is deleted but this time i was smart enough to link my fb to wattpad so at least that was no issue like b4. im just in my kitchen making home make cranberry juice in a pan juiceieeeeejuice cuz there is literally no food at all and all the pots have disappeared. SOMEONE keeps hiding things.. i think im surrounded by maniacal lunatics.... and not the good kind... not the smiling wingnuts who stop you on the street to sell you poetry readings then you give them 50Centz and they pull out a stack of paper and wont let you leave till the end.... no im surrounded by somthing way more sinister... but for now... nope nevrmind... im not even gonna jinx myself by saying anything is good. So shhhhh😜 i feel like wobbly headed bob lately... ( Jonny the homicidal maniac refrence ) i wanna be a happy noodle boy today but no. Wobbly headed bob it izzz. I feel like ive said that b4.... probably and im sure i forgot cuz for the last 2 weeks somehow everytime theres food around me its meat or sugar.... just those 2 things that i am so trying to avoid... i swear they are all against me i tell you! This is pure madness.... and every time im like... yea so ive been thinking about not eating dead animals anymore cuz when i do i can taste there pain and suffering..like literally. NOOO not you...thats ok for other people but You have to eat meat cuz you need protein. really? Is that so....Ya know i hear theres protein lots of other things😮😝 haaaa jus kidding... its 1 am nuff said.... so anyway am all feeling like crappy crap piles of crap from eating dead stuff that suffered a horible demise and capt crunch... crunch berries... which is all well and good in reasonable portions.... this month im going to demand to the holder of the ebt card! Fer effin Realzzzz... hopefully this chunk of time where i couldnt work is finally over. I hate not being productive... it makes me nuts.... Toil i must...i love toiling.. reallly... when i am boxed in i get really anxious.. i know its bad when i start doing crafts... this week a painted wyld stallyins on my hat sewed a bunch of cool stuff on my trenchcoat... including a heart on my sleeve in seed beads and a cool black and white striped angel wing on the back..on one side...So question... what do you think it looks kinda rad right??? The answer i got.... meh its. cool...monotone a.f. but why is there only one? There should be 2....it looks uneven. Wait are you serious? I did that intentionally. I didnt want 2 i wanted one... idl i like to do things miss matched or uneven or one sided for some reason...its more special if theres only one. like i will never ever ever wear a pair of earings. I like having 2 different colored sox (same size iz a must) but really...? I think my jacket looks frickin awesome. Are you seriously dogging on my creative weirdest? Im shocked and appalled. and if you dont get it then you never will.... and like maybe bother to pretend that you looked first for a millisecond next time... Peshaaaaaa PEEESHAAA fer real to that.... then i decided to make a blaster bag cuz they are so cool but like 200 bux so... buying one will never happen but im almost done and thus far im excited to rock it soon...me making all this stuff means ive been way to anxiously anxious with anxiety. Like way more that it should b. something ive learned in this epic disaster is taking 2 puzzle pieces that kinda almost fit and forcibly mashing them together and saying... yep they fit... umm but the one side isnt lining up like that line dosnt continue through and it should... dude you cant just jam it in and claim it goes there... now you've created 2 discrepancies in a otherwise bueatiful and time consuming piece of fragmented generic art that has been sitting on this card table in the livingroom for weeks now..pieced together by the efforts of my countless relatives.... you just cant waltz in and stick that piece where the crap it dose not go...cuz if they dont fit then they just dont fit.. its not the puzzles fault... its not our fault eather. Somewher in the pile theres a piece that fits perfectly with the pieces around it... i know for a fact that i am still a lone piece in the pile... but somewhere SOMEWHERE in this world are the pieces i fit with.....somewhere.. i know they exist....I KNOW because the front of the box shows the finished product. All the pieces have a spot. All you have to do is be smart enough to see which ones fit where.... It seems like a daunting task but the process is what makes it eather seem enless and impossible or amazing and fun.. but for the time being id rather be in the pile all alone lost amongst the other pieces that have not found there place then forcibly snapped into the wrong spot.. cuz when you find the right piece it just clicks in perfecty perfect. And then you click in more pieces that fit around those pieces and eventually all the pieces become one larger bueatiful thing... then you can eather frame it or take it apart and start over..... but thats a whole other ball of wax or yarn or rubberbands or whatever..This is the analogy i tried to use as a hard sell... on why. Why i insist i am still a lone piece... its not personal. Were clearly on the same row. Your clearly just down a square or 2. I can only spare someone feelings to a degree. It sux and i feel bad but.... clearly thats just the way that it is.... secondly there is much more important things on a way grander scale that matter a lot more then whatever i just rambled on about above this line. I am not in the position to do the things i am suposed to be doing things in the mental and physical state i am currently stuck in...i am helping no one right now. At all. Thats not good. Thats not how i roll and it sux But for now i got to take some time to get it all back together again. Normally I would not give a crap. Whatever would kill me faster was a plus...im doomed eather way right? Why drag it out and suffer the horrible end. Quick and painless. After meeing with like 4 neurologist they all made it seem like its just a matter of time. You will probably loose your motor functions and die in likely 20 years or so. This is basically what i was told. That anda bunch of other stuff i realize is totally ridiculous. Im so over listening to there bullshit and taking there "medicine" which only seems to make me worse when i run out. The thought of dieing didnt really bother me much at the time. My dad was a wreck. Inconsolable. My mom was...my mom. I know now herbal stuff and good food is the key to fighting illness of all kinds. i dont think the same way i used to...now i care if im alive ...cuz i wanna be....for me and my fellow puzzle pieces.... you no who u are..cuz you totally click into the spot nect to me and our curvy edges fit so purrrrrfect. ur so awesome and i love you so very verry much..and that is this the weirdest thing... of maybe im crazy and totallly wrong... but i love you anyway...just a reminder incase you forgot or i forgot to remind you😘 ive been way hecka M.I.A. on here cuz im dealing with lotz of stressful and annoying things and i still get fone jacked alot but eventually people fall asleep...imma get a new fone soon.. i think technically i will be on fone # 8 OR 9 in the last 5 monts... all of which broke within the first week. B4 that i never broke my fones ever. Clearly im cursed.. ill have to put a protection spell on the next one. Lmao... or just get a otterbox... and have it blessed.. jk..... its 3am. Im sweeeeepy. My juice is done...gunnniteee😇 💋xo💤
