Holidaze (camren)

1. Happy New Year

I was never supposed to fall in love with her. People at that age didn't fall in love and expect it to last; at least, the rational part of their brain didn't allow them to expect it to last. We were different, we always were. High School sweethearts were supposed to be cookie cutter; alpha male and trophy girlfriend, the ones that got voted in their senior superlatives. They were the ones nominated for Homecoming Court and would win Prom King and Queen; they were the couple that everyone hated to love. Hallways would part like the red sea for them; they were gawked at and envied until the day they graduated. I was supposed to be one half of that relationship.

I don't even remember what lead to my realization, when I started noticing my enemy in a different light, when I started to walk on eggshells when she was around. I was blindsided, in the most beautiful way someone could be. It was crazy really, feeling the ground beneath your feet remove itself. I blame the alcohol coursing through my veins at the time; it was a stupid idea to drink, especially when in the company of Zayn Malik. Not that he would ever dare to make a move on me with the glaring eyes of Naill Horan watching his every move. I don't know what gave Naill the impression that I was something he could claim though, maybe it was when I had accepted the ring he offered me. It was a security that I couldn't afford not taking.

I saw her. I'd known her practically my whole life but for the first time I actually saw her.

It hit me like morphine in my veins, it hit me like Chris Brown, it hit me like Shawn hit the mailman. All the evidence was there, it had always been there. My paternal grandfather passed away when I was young, too young to remember the horrible man that he actually was to other people, but I did remember how I asked my mother what happened when you died. She gave me the dumbed-down standard Catholic explanation, hoping to ease my small and wandering mind. My sister, however, told me that right before you die, you see your whole life played out like a movie before you. What was happening in my mind at that moment must have been what she was talking about. Things that I didn't even remember happening were playing before my closed eyelids, things that I never wanted to remember again.

She was beautiful.

It was ten minutes to midnight and couples were pairing off as the new year approached. Some people were wearing silly glasses made out of the year, while others were wearing metallic paper hats. Some people had pots and pans, getting ready to bang them into the night air. Ally had supplied everyone with noisemakers. You could feel the anticipation. For one night, we were allowed to be as childish as we wanted. We were allowed to be as loud as we wanted because there were people houses down that were surely louder than us.

The glee club was under the same roof, the original glee club, from when we started. Kurt was back and Matt even made the trip to see his old friends. They both brought some of their new friends and of course everyone took a liking to them.

Normani was making flirtatious eyes at Zayn while Dinah sat on Liam's lap. Ally and Austin were thumb wrestling while Kurt and his friend were animatedly talking to Lucy. Shawn and Camila were sitting across from Naill and I on the wrap around couch, the boys were sharing weight lifting tricks. Everything just seemed so normal. Two years ago it wouldn't have felt normal.

The alcohol was my camouflage. It was blatantly obvious that I'd been quietly watching her as I lazily sat on the dark green couch. Not caring that my posture was not what a young lady's posture should look like. I was too drunk to care about that, but for some reason, I was too drunk and cared that Camila was upset about something.

She was so beautiful and it was obvious that she was so sad.

"Excuse me," she politely spoke up before getting off the couch. Her red cup appeared to be empty and she made her way towards the kitchen.