The Heart and Mind of the Sick and Twisted

His name is Vic Fuentes: A Musician, A Teacher, and A Survivor

Like Vic, I will find myself

In my own time, maturity and inspiration should never be forced upon me.

‘Maybe I’ll pretend right now, but I swear to God I’m gonna change the world.’

Is my aspiration in life considered ‘emo’, ‘goth’, and ‘satanic’ because you judge them by their exterior or is it ‘powerful’, ‘motivational’, and ‘life-saving’ because I know what happened to their interior?

Stereotypes joined in the game of life. They took over Boardwalk, Park Place, and St. Charles Place. The avenues didn’t stand a chance.

The whole board was theirs, yet we continued to give our money to the banker.

Every second, of every minute, of every hour, we are expected to look like Barbie.

But I refuse to.

I will rise and stand out as my own person.

I refuse to ‘sleep through the end of the world’; I won’t allow you to ‘bury me alive.’

‘Cause I won’t give up without a fight.’

‘So here we are. We’re waiting for a fall. And on the radio they’re calling on satellites, like they’re going to save us all.’

The sad truth.

I always doubt myself.

I have a dream, but I don’t know if I’ll ever work hard enough, stand tall enough, or reach far enough to achieve what I want.

‘Is this the end of us or just the means to start again?’

An unwanted thought that runs through me like a jolt of electricity. Am I ready to give up?

Everything I worked so hard for? Just...gone like it never existed.

The words. The words that have cut me.

Each letter, every syllable, every breath taken is another mark to remind myself of the words that are spoken, repeated within me, the cause of my suffering. The never ending stab wounds have cut me so deep and have torn me apart.

All the pain and suffering, rejection, judgment, self-hatred.

I'm considering giving up... but I can't.

I was told ‘We go together or we don’t go down at all.’ He promised me. He doesn't break his promises.

I refuse to disappoint the bands whose lyrics inspire me and have reminded me that every wound will heal. Every wound isn't a scar that makes me, but a scar that makes me stronger.

A scar that shows I have overcome the troubles in my life. 

A scar that reminds me of my success.