The Great Wall of Derek hale

TGWOD chapter 4

Chapter Text

After further make-outs, some more food and drink, Stiles phone rang. Looking at the number he picked it up saying

"Cora, what's wrong?.... you're all fine, that's great news. Derek's getting better, he's still very weak. He's sleeping all the time....... It'd be better if you stayed in my room while I get Derek back on his feet. I think he is feeling vulnerable as a beta and I'll feel better knowing you're there to keep my Dad safe. Have you told anyone about Derek? ...... Just that he healed you. No, great. Don't tell them it cost him his Alpha spark yet. I think it's good for everyone to see this as Hale territory still. I'll talk to Scott about it soon."

Stiles rolled back onto Derek and kissed him.

"We're alone for now"

Stiles chuckled while wiggling his eyebrows. Derek put his hands on Stiles's hips, pulled him closer and started to grind his erection into Stiles's hip. Stiles stilled and said

"Derek, Stop!".

Derek instantly stopped and pulled away from Stiles to the furthest part of the bed and curled in on himself.

"You don't want me"

he whimpered. Derek hadn't known that he could go from such euphoria to such cataclysmic agony in such a short time, why had Stiles claimed him only to reject him straight afterwards? Stiles said in a strong but warm tone

"Derek, turn and look at me, GWoD down".

Derek turned round to face him but stayed in his foetal position. Stiles smiled at Derek.

"Derek, my mate, my only love. I want you. I want you when I wake, every time I breathe and I dream about you when I sleep. Don't think I don't want you. I love you and will want you for ever."

Derek blinked, and let out the breath he hadn't realised he was holding.

"Then why'd you stop me?".

Derek uncurled and looked at Stiles in confusion.

Stiles grabbed Derek and pulled him into his side and lifted Derek's head onto his shoulder.

"Derek, I stopped you because I'm not yet 18 and I never just want to have sex with you"

Stiles gripped Derek tighter when he felt Derek go rigid in his arms and start to pull away.

"I never want to have sex with you because I only ever want to make love to you. When we do, I want it to be the most fundamental joining of us with every part of us both human and wolf open to the other. That isn't now and I don't want to sully it before that. I don't know if you see it this way but you've been raped both by Jennifer and by Kate and so you and I will have to talk about this before we explore that side of our relationship. As your mate, your wolf wishes to consummate our joining as we're not fully mated until we have but the human side of you needs to be nurtured and needs time to heal. We've a lifetime together, we don't have to rush".

Derek looks at Stiles and says

"I wasn't raped, Stiles, I've always consented".

Stiles held Derek and kissed him and put his fingers through Derek's hair. Derek moaned as his body reacted to the touch, he was going to swallow the moan but remembered Stiles wanted him Naked and so he didn't stop the moans from coming and the purr from the wolf at being shown such comfort from his mate.

"Derek, Jennifer was the Darach, she used the virginal sacrifices to seduce you and some how managed to hijack our mate bond to make you fall in love with her. Don't forget, she used it on my Dad as well and he told me that when she took him, he kissed her and at that moment he'd never loved anyone as much. He said he'd have done anything for her when under her spell. I told him that it wasn't real and that I know he loves only Mom and that he did nothing wrong. Derek, she did the same to you. When would you have taken someone to your bed after having only known them for a few moments. Your trust issues have trust issues. You may have consented but only in the same way that someone plied with Rohypnol can consent. She used you, Derek, because you're the most amazing person in the world and the bravest and she needed those qualities, not to mention that you were an Alpha. Derek, I don't blame you, you're a victim. I love you and will always love you. I know you thought it was real with her at the time but I hope you can tell the difference now: when I hold you and kiss you it's because I love you and I have no hidden agenda other than the desire to be with you."

Derek took the comfort being offered and began

"When I was injured after falling from the roof with Ennis, I came looking for you at the school. I knew I needed you. I was almost dead and my wolf needed its mate. When I got there, you weren't there but I smelled Jennifer. She knew what I was and she took me back to my loft, she was my only option. When she got me on my bed she stroked my neck, I felt this overwhelming desire for her and she lent over me from behind and kissed me and I pulled her down into the kiss. All my wounds healed and I felt on top of the world, she was kissing me and I loved her so much. All I wanted was to be with her. At that moment, it made so much sense. She was my age, she knew about me and was willing to help and she loved me and I loved her. She also looked and acted like you. She even smelled almost the same as you. It didn't see it then but she moulded herself so that I'd love her. That continued until I had to choose between you or her. When it was a choice between believing her or you, you won and the spell was broken. She used me to get to her sacrifices and used me to manoeuvre Deucalion and Kali where she needed them to be. Stiles, you're better off without me, I only bring misery."

Tears sprung up in Derek's eyes and for the first time in forever, he finds himself crying. Stiles holds him tight and says soothingly

"Let is all out, Derek, I've got you, I won't let you fall and I'm never letting you go, no take-backs remember"

and it is like a dam breaks and Derek just finds himself wailing. He wept for his body being used again, for his trust and heart being trampled on; the new people that had died because of him. He even wept for the loss of the Hale Alpha Spark which he shared with his Mom, Laura and unfortunately Uncle Peter. The only thing keeping him grounded was Stiles's kisses and his constant litany of

"I love you Derek, I'll love you for ever, I've got you, Derek.".

He hadn't realised how much Jennifer had hurt him until that moment mainly because he was used to pain and felt like he deserved it. For the first time, someone was telling him that he didn't deserve it and for the first time he believed them.

He doesn't know when it happened, but Derek woke in the middle of the night with Stiles star fished on his front with his head, an arm and a leg over Derek's body. Probably because he could feel Derek looking at him, Stiles awoke and looked at Derek. He curled himself around Derek, lifted Derek's arm so it was acting as his pillow and then nuzzled his nose in Derek's armpit, licked it and kissed it. Derek looked at him in wonder and said

"What was that for?",

Stiles went back to his nuzzling and said with twinkling eyes,

"'Cos you smell amazing, you taste amazing and because I can. Now let's go back to sleep and hopefully you'll be more mobile tomorrow".

Derek went to sleep cocooned in Stiles arms, engulfed in their combined scent and he remembered what Stiles had said "In my arms you are safe and home". He had never felt at home since the fire and he had felt so alone even when surrounded with people. In Stiles's arms he felt such contentment and such a feeling of home, he had thought he had been in love before, but now that he had the real thing, he knew how wrong he had been.