Butterfly

Pt. 2: Imagine

Everything here is bright and hyperreal. Looking at the school and its premises is like looking at your surroundings when you've gotten a new prescription. The grass is an annoying bright shade of green and the walls of the school white and pristine. Although I'm wearing the best pieces of clothing that I own, I still feel like I'm not dressed up enough to even be in its presence.

I walk up the steps of the school that lead up to the main entrance. Yoo Jung offered to accompany me to my audition but I feel like having her here would only make me more nervous. The piece that I will play today is one of my favourites. It was the first piece that I independently mastered, making it a piece that holds many memories and meaning to me.

After entering through the main entrance, I am greeted by the grandeur of the school's interior. As I walk on the lush red carpet, down to the lift lobby, I notice that there are many other aspiring musicians here to audition today. As prepared as I am, I can't help but to feel a surge of insecurity. There are musicians and pianists much more skilled than I am, why should I be given a place here?

The lift door opens and people file in, I brush against the people in the packed lift, conscious of my skin against theirs. After getting out on the second floor, I make my way down a long corridor. I don't know exactly where I'm supposed to go and I feel a little lost by the never-ending corridor and the numerous doors that all seem the same to me. From the corner of my eye, a boy around my age walks past, head bowed down, probably skimming through his score for the last time before the audition.

"H-hey. Are you auditioning for the school too? I've never been here before and I could use some help." I stammer, a little sheepish.

He turns around, smiles and replies, "Yeah, the room's right this way, I'll walk you there."

I bow my head in thanks and follow him, walking alongside with him. It's only now that I realise how tall he is, with every step he takes, I need to take an extra one in order to keep up. His messy brown hair falls into his eyes, and I wonder how he manages to keep it at such a length, I find it irritating.

"I didn't get your name, I'm Jae. Nice to meet you." Jae turns his head towards me, expecting a reply.

"I'm Wei. I'm auditioning as a pianist. You?"

"Vocals and dance."

We stop at a door that looks the same as the other ones down the corridor. The only difference is that a piece of paper is pasted on this one, and it reads 'Auditions' in a bolded font.

Jae enters first and holds the door open for me. Murmuring a word of thanks, I step into the room and see the hundreds of people gathered. The anticipation and anxiety is almost tangible, some people are crying while others are pacing up and down the room.

We take a seat after signing in, Jae takes out his scores from his backpack and starts singing softly to himself. His voice is melodic, smooth and somehow, despite all the anxiousness and nerves that he must feel, completely in pitch, without a single note going flat or sharp.

There is a continuous flow of people in and out the room. I sit there and wait for my name to be called. As the number of people in the room gradually get smaller, so does my patience. It's been about four hours and there's no sign of my name being called. Did they mess up? Was I not supposed to be here in the first place? Anxiety and nervousness are taken over by restlessness.

"Wang Wei Hui, please make your way to the audition room."

'About time.' Is my first thought. 'Oh shit, it's my turn.' Is my second. Every step towards the door that leads to the room connected with his one is heavy. My heart is pumping so hard that it hurts.