Fishing for Plenty

Seven Spiritual Laws to Dating

1. The Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction tells us that "like attracts like." Obviously, the law holds true in dating. So if you want to date the most amazing person that ever walked the face of the earth, the Universe requires you to become the person you want to attract, whether it be caring, compassionate, honest, or energetic. I am focusing on the inner qualities for now.

For example, if you like dating a man who puts some effort in the way he takes care of his body, then it would make sense for you to start thinking about your own health regime. This is a process of getting clear about what you want. Perhaps having a man's respect is important to you, but you find it difficult to move slowly in the first few dates, and feel regretful later? Then it's time to check in with what is truly important to YOU. This is going to be a process individual to you. But if this is your desire, you might want to make sure you are able to respect men in general, take time to talk and really get to know each other at the beginning of the relationship. The amount of time you spend on or looking at your cell phone also might be an indication of respect. So, it's an opportunity for self-assessment. If you find it hard to take a break from your cell phone, perhaps leave it locked in the car while you are at dinner, so you can really give him your full attention. These are all just suggestions.

It helps to become very specific about what you want, but leave the HOWS and the WHENS up to the Universe. An easy way to get started is find a large index card and fill it with two columns of words or phrases (both sides) of all the qualities you want in a partner. An important quality to include on the list is "He is into me." No matter how perfect this man might be, if he not that "into you" it's not going to work, and you deserve to be with a man who can enjoy your company as much as you enjoy his!

This card may change and grow as you start to have a few first dates. On the journey I became clearer and clearer and the more I dated, I did get closer and closer to my ideal. Some of these dates lasted only 30 minutes. Some were as long as an hour. A few really special ones were dinners out. I even went skiing with one man on a first date. But he brought his buddy with him, so although it is truly up to you, I cannot recommend the ski date as a first date, especially if you have never met before.

Your time is important and you don't want to end up spending hours with a man that doesn't resonate. You can become excellent at managing your time, even as a busy single mother. It is not hard to squeeze in a cup of coffee here and there. And in 30 minutes, you may have an excellent idea of whether this is man you want to date or not.

In keeping with the Law of Attraction, it helps to enjoy the process as much as possible, because this keeps you in a high vibration (or a place of feeling good). When you feel good, more of what you want will come to you. At a high vibration, you became extremely "magnetic" in the manifestation process.

As you begin dating, I recommend getting a relationship journal. Start making notes of the things that come up for you on your dates. What did you like about your date? What qualities matched your must-have list? And then, not to emphasize the negative, but what bothered you about the date? Whenever negative experiences show up in our lives, it is an opportunity to find clarity about what we want. This is what Abraham-Hicks called the Pivoting Process. In the presence of what we don't want, what we DO want becomes abundantly clear. So use this contrast for your own advantage. This could be an opportunity to learn about yourself as much an opportunity to learn about another person. Instead of dwelling on the negative, let it be an "ah, hah" moment. I really wanted___________. You can write this in your journal as well.

For example, I found myself dating men who seemed afraid of commitment and were not able to be vulnerable with me. They seemed overly busy and had very little time to spend with me. So this signaled in me that I did really want to slow down in my own life and make time for romance, but I realized I was afraid, too. It was a good opportunity for me to look within, and ask myself how the state of being busy was serving me? We always get some sort of benefit from what we are doing, even if it unknowingly sabotages us from creating a life we love.