on purpose ~ a tns_assembled one-shot book

Transplantation || Bryles

Written by Flabelloor

~

I walk into my brothers room in the hospital. "Hi," I say to my parents and give them both a hug, "how's David doing?"

"That's where we want to walk about with you," my mother says suddenly tearing up. I look scared to my parents. "What do you mean?" I say, "he's okay right?"

My father sighs and stands up. "Briar this has been going on for too long," he says, "David is not going to wake up again." My head starts to spin and I sit down on another chair.

"So that's it?" I say, "we're just going to give up?" "Briar this isn't giving up," my mom says rubbing over my back, "you have to understand that this is hard for us too."

"I just don't understand," I say quietly starting to cry, "I don't want to lose me."

3 months ago we went skiing and my brother fell. He has been in a coma ever since. I hoped every single day that he would wake up again, but I guess that time is over. They're not going to keep him in coma any longer.

"There's also something else," my dad says, "but we really want your opinion on it." "What," I say not even bothering to look up at him.

"There's this guy with a heart problem," my dad says, "he's extremely sick and doesn't have long to live if he doesn't get a donor heart."

That's enough. My blood starts to boil and I jump up. "So that's were this is about?!" I say, "you're giving up the life of your own son just to safe the life of someone else?! Someone you don't even know for God's sake!"

"Briar!" My mom says sternly, "don't act so childish, you know that we loved David and that we'll always love him and that he'll be in our hearts forever. There's hope for the boy who needs the heart."

"You know," I says while tears stream down my cheeks, "do whatever makes you happy." After that I stand up and run out of the room straight out of the hospital to my car and I drive back home.

Even when I come home I don't feel like I've cried enough. I go inside to David's room and fall crying on his bed. "I miss you so much," I say.

My brother and I were always like best friends. He's two years older than me, but that never bothered us. We barely had any fights. The most arguments in this house were my brother and I against my parents.

But he's gone now, so that will never happened again.

The next morning I wake up in David's room, I must have fallen asleep. Like every morning I just grab my stuff and go to school. Not that I want to go, I can't focus right now.

I hate it that my parents are just giving up. Maybe David wakes up again and he'll be fine and our lives will go back to normal.

The day is long. I can't concentrate and I'm about to burst into tears every time someone says something to me. When I come home I find a note from my parents saying that I can say goodbye to David today. They'll transplantate David's heart in someone else's body tomorrow.

I decide not to go.

I end up crying the rest of the afternoon. I want to remember David like I do right now, and I don't want to change that. David will forever be my brother, my best friend for life.

About two months later after everything is settled, we finally have David's funeral.

I sit in the front row in my black dress. Sitting here I feel super uncomfortable. It feels like everyone is watching me and I can't handle it right now. "I'm going to sit somewhere else," I say to my mom and quickly stand up not waiting for her reaction. I sit down somewhere in a corner in the back a few rows behind everyone else and soon the funeral begins.

Not even a minute went by when someone sits on the other side of the row I'm sitting on. I briefly look up and see a guy around my age. I decide to just ignore him and listen to people telling little stories about David. It's hard to listen, all those memories come back and I realize that I'll never make new memories with David.

I softly start to cry, but after a few minutes it feels literally like the whole see is coming out of my eyes. I don't feel like I can handle this any longer so I silently stand up and walk out of the room. In a silent hallway a bit further, I sit down against a wall and cry harder than I've ever cried.

After a while I suddenly feel someone sitting down beside me. The person rubs over my back and I burry my head in his/her chest don't caring about who it is.

"I'm sorry," I say crying, but not moving. "It's okay," a guy's voice says.

After a while of kind of silence in which I cry and he keeps rubbing over my back, I start to calm down. The sound of his heard sounds so protective, I can't help but feel safe for the first time in a long time.

"Was he your brother?" the guy asks at which I nod. "Yes," I say, "we were like best friends for life." "I'm sorry," he says, "this should be hard." "It is," I say, "but I'll be fine."

"You know" he suddenly says after a while of silence, "I've a cat." I smile slightly. That reminds me of David, where ever I had pain or I was sad David started to talk about the most random things. It helped though, we always ended up laughing. "What's his name?" I ask.

"Mr Smith," he says. "Mr Smith?" I say repeating him. "Yea!" he says, "you should see people's faces when I say 'Mr Smith don't pee in the garden'." I laugh slightly. "That's ridiculous," I say.

"No that's humor," he says, "do you have a pet?" "My brother and I had secretly a hedgehog for a while," I say, "but other than that not." "You had secretly a hedgehog?" he asks, "that's nice, what was his name?" "Stinger," I say.

"Very creative," he says sarcastic and I smile again. It's helping, talking about this random stuff.

"So what's your name actually?" I ask him after I pull away from his embrace in which I was for pretty much 15 minutes. "Myles," he says and smiles at me. "Nice to meet you," I say, "I'm Briar." I put my hand forward and we shake hands. "Yea I know," he says which causes me to look a little confused.

"Sorry for completely ruining your shirt," I say shyly when I see that it's terribly wet. "No problem," he says, "just don't cry again, your eyes are too pretty to be crying." I blush slightly, but look down to hide it, this conversation has been long enough.

Just as I think that the doors open and people start walking out. "The funeral is over," I say more analyzing the situation than actually telling Myles.

When I see my parents walk out, I walk towards them and pull my mom in a hug. "It's okay," she says crying slightly, "David is in a good place." I nod slightly but keep hugging her. "sincere condolences," I hear Myles suddenly say. "Thanks," my dad says and from the sound I think they hug.

"Myles," my mom says, "what nice of you that you came." "You know him?" I ask my parents. "Yes," my mom says, "Myles has David's heart."

Suddenly everything in my head clicks. The safe feeling, how he calmed me down the same way David did, how we communicated without words. I look at Myles who looks a bit scared, but I just smile slightly and pull him in a hug.

"Thank you," I say hugging him tighly, "thank you for carrying a bit of David with you for the rest of your life.