True Beauty

Seven

She wondered if guilt could swallow her whole. 

James hadn't directly mentioned Amelia to anyone, but it was obvious they were meeting secretly. He walked on air, was dazed and had an amorous gleam in his eyes now. What was going to happen when he figured out his newfound love was already given away to be married? The girl was leading him on, which caused Bel to experience an emotion she'd never felt before. 

Anger. 

Pure fire ran through her veins at the thought of her older brother's heart being shattered by a conceited girl who was already taken. It was happening before her eyes, but she felt helpless. There was no way of meddling without someone getting hurt.  

She wasn't an angry person; she never had a temper; her patience was infinite. However, when thinking of Amelia and James, everything changed. On the inside, she was at war with whether she should loathe the girl who once hated her, or loathe herself for not telling James of the wedding plans which didn't involve him. 

How was he still unaware, though? Melinda had tea with Amelia, her mother and her older sister every other day. And every other day when they'd come around, the mother would harp endlessly on how her youngest daughter was a "beautiful caterpillar turning into an even more beautiful butterfly" and an "incredibly talented birdy leaving its nest to fly". Every other day Melinda made Bel endure the seemingly endless boasting of the middle aged woman who nothing else but her husband's money and daughters to talk about.  

"It will help you branch out and socialise," she'd explained before the women arrived on the first day. All it did was reiterate the reason why Bel preferred to study than socialise. 

She wondered if Melinda was used to this droning on. She wondered if this was payback for all the times she had stolen Harry's attention. If it was, she hoped Melinda would decide soon that she had had enough. 

After nearly a month and a half of thinking and listening to Amelia's mother--whose name she had never learned--and seeing James falling more and more deeply in love with the bride-to-be, Bel finally decided to give in to Harry and take the trip to London sonner rather than later. Being measured, admonished about her size, and going through the torture of being stared at was better than listening to mindless women drone on at tea time.  

The trip was planned to be a month long, and Bel had never seen Harry so excited for anything; not even his own wedding. 

The morning they were supposed to board the train, he ran around the house, making sure everyone was packed and ready to go. Bel thought that Cat may have put something in his tea during breakfast, but remembered Melinda was the one who had made the eggs and toast they'd eaten.  

Another thing she remembered was that Amelia was being sent to Scotland during this trip. She was going to be married and will never return. She would never see Doncaster--or James--again.  

She would never see James again. 

Was that why she pulled him in and made him fall so quickly? She knew she was leaving and wouldn't have to be there to see his heart crack and shatter like a vase. She could use him and be finished with him without any regret. She would leave, get married, and forget Bel's brother. The idea made her sick with guilt, anger, and other unexpressed emotions. 

She sat in the rented West Side, London flat, lost in her own thoughts. She wished James had accompanied them, but it was just Cat, Harry, Melinda and her. She knew why he hadn't come along; he'd rather stay in Doncaster, doting over Amelia. He was in love; it was plausible for him to stay with her.  

What will happen when she leaves and no one is there with him? 

The thought haunted her every day, even among the extravagant ambiance London offered.