Until I Met Leo

Hello, my name is Haylee. I am fifteen, and I want to die.

My life is a mess, my dad is dead, my mother hates me. I have no siblings, no friends, no life.

I don't even feel sadness anymore, everything is numb. It's like I died long ago, and all that was left was an empty skin of a person with no purpose. I am just lugged around, sometimes a burden to my mother, sometimes a burden to my grandparents. That's just what I am, a burden, nobody wants me. I'm not needed, so whats the point in me existing?

I never stay in one area for more than a month or so. My mother gets with all the guys, dumps them, then has to move somewhere new to start 'afresh' as she says. But then she goes and does the exact same thing again, every single time. I feel like I'm constantly sat on a train, carrying a small bag of my possessions. My mother sat next to me, telling me she's sorry, that this time it will be better, that we can be like a family again. 

Wrong. She doesn't love me, she loathes me. However much she tries to cover it up, its obvious. She used to love me, but after dads death, she can't stand the sight of me.

I can't have friends, I'm not in one place for long enough. Nobody wants to be friends with me either. I'm not pretty, I'm not social, I'm not confident.

I have negative self esteem. I hate myself, I hate everything, from my stupidly skinny body, to my spot covered face. I'm just plain, there is nothing interesting about me. I'm not one of those little nerdy girls with the big glasses and the cute faces. I'm not one of those confident girls with a curvy body that gets all the guys hanging off all her words. I have no category, I'm just boring.

I can't call her my mum anymore, I can barely call her my mother. She doesn't care about me, only cares about herself, and what men will think of her. She's a slut, and I hate it. I hate being that kid at school, the one who's mother flirts with the Head Teacher at parents evening. The one who's mother is responsible for someones parents divorcing.

I just don't want to live anymore. I want to leave this life and let all the people that hate me get what they want.

I never understood why she noticed me, out of everyone. She could have chosen anyone, but she saw me. I was the one she spotted from the crowd.

And slowly, I can feel my outlook on life changing.

And this is one persons fault.

I didn't know change could happen.

Until I met Leo.