Welcome to this journal. This was kept private, but you have secret access to this unedited diary. I've talked to Wattpad like there would be two sides to the conversation, so I decieded to post them as they come and get some feedback to see if ther...
*Surfing Youtube* Try not to cry? Seen those before, probably not hard at all. Eh. *Clicks on it*
*Tears everywhere*
I cannot believe how smart I am. (Being sarcastic, obviously.) I watched a few but none of them were effecting me. I was about to quit after the last one but it had me full on sobbing. Who's idea was this? Oh, hey, you know what'll be fun? Making sad commercials so people will buy our fucking SHAMPOO. A whole 10 minute advert making me pour my heart out in the sad form of tears, to try and get me to buy SHAMPOO. I already have a shampoo I like thanks, I don't need yours. My mum uses yours already. Crying isn't going to win me over.
I know, I know, I clicked on it so why am I complaining?
Well, the simple answer for that is.... I complain about LITERALLY EVERYTHING. And hey, mxirwxn, if your reading this (which you probably won't) SHE is always the person who puts up with all of it. If you know her, go tell her that she is an amazing person, probably the best I know. (Don't bring this up face to face, It'll make things awkward)
Anyway, apologies for that, but hey, that's what this book(?) is for: me complaining and putting my rants somewhere where I can get feedback on how abnormal I am and to get over myself.
Next topic!
My friend did THE most horrible thing yesterday. (teenage overreacting!) Let me start from the beginning.
My brother, let's call him John, asked if I had a boyfriend. I said no, why? He told his friend (how bout Jason?) to friend me on facebook. He did. We instantly hit it off and pretty soon, he asked if I wanted to have a relationship with him. I squeaked. Loud and long. Said yes, obviously. He likes Fairy Tail, Death Note and Spirited away (MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE ANIMEEEE). He has Italian origins (hot af), likes memes and has social anxiety. And insomnia. And depression. SAME!! (Not, I'm probably just attention seeking again, that's obviously why I lay awake at night and don't sleep for days at a time... heh... *rubs back of neck awkwardly*) Anyways, he is actually perfect.
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| Side note, my mum is singing |
| loudly and out of key ¬¬ |
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He also called me cute, pretty and attractive. One problem though, I haven't ever actually met him. (don't freak out, John, my brother, has met him.) I've had many a time where I've either thought that he doesn't like me, doesn't care or hates me with a passion. Then he comes back online after I've sent him messages like:
Hey xx
Are you ok?
Jason?
Why do you hate me?!?!
I thought we were going to meet up!?!?
WTF Jason?!?!
Then he is just like:
Aw, you worried about me? xx I'm really, sorry I didn't message back, I was at my Nan's funeral. Many tears were shed. Anyway, how are you? Are you ok? ^^
Then I'm just like feeling all guilty here, feeling like dying and then this is the point where he calls me cute and I just die. Multiple times. This guy (that I haven't met) is actually one of the best people ever.
Soo, then my 'friend' was just like:
Oh, btw Josh has a crush on you.
(Josh is not his real name, the blonde one that Tessa likes for the people who read this and are like Josh? WTF? Ew.) Anyway, this is when my world imploded. I had already had a few drinks so I was emotional. Earlier in the year, I had made one of the biggest mistakes of my life in asking out a boy in my class who turned out to either be gay (nothing against gay peeps) or just really weird. Probably the latter. Word got round and I wanted to die. So Josh is literally the most wanted boy in our class. He is cute (not that I have a crush on him) though. So my thought process went a little like this:
Oh my god, EVERYONE likes him! If I went out with him, I would be popular! He is cute! He seems like a nice person!
Wait, but Jason.
My mum and aunt are like: 'Dump Jason! Go for Josh!'
But I REALLY like Jason! I could never break it off with him!
All the other girls would hate me cause they know I know they have a crush on him.
No, how could I even consider it? Jason is my boyfriend. Oh my god, I hate myself for even considering it.
~'Friend' Btw, he said hes gonna come and ask u out at school when we go back. he told me on snapchat.
Oh my god, I need to reject the hottest and nicest boy in our class after asking out the weirdo?! Everyone is going to hate me! I can't betray Jason though. But I haven't even met him yet, and I need friends! Oh shit, what do I do?!
~'Friend' Haha jk, dont even have him on snapchat.
Can you even imagine the feels? Probably not. It was kind of angry red with a bit of empty black. You know what I mean? Guess what I said next. I am probably going to regret it later. It was harsh.
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That was it. I just left after that.
So that is the end of this one. Did you enjoy? Probably not. Oh well. Hey, you read this far, thanks, it means a lot to me. I'm talking to no one. I'm leaving now. Bye. See ya.
P.S. I saw something hilarious on another story and I laughed my head off. NAME THE DOTS!!!!!!!!!!!
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I will use the best names for other people in my life.
