"I love you more," I said. Lies.
"I highly doubt that's true," Cameron replied to me with his lust filled brown eyes. You're right.
Cameron Dallas is my boyfriend of three months. He was there for me through some of my toughest times in life, and I love him so much for that. But I don't love him as a boyfriend, I love him as a friend.
When he asked me out, I felt obliged to say yes because of all he's done for me. It was also a jab to my ex, Jack Gilinsky. He broke my heart in every way possible, but I still love him. I could never admit that to him; he would hurt me all over again. We haven't talked since the breakup, but it was bad. Fatal, almost.
"Babe, did you hear about the party?" Cameron said while he was staring at his phone intently.
There was a party going on at Taylor Caniff's house. He's a good friend of Cameron's, but he's better friends with Jack.
"What if Jack is there?" I muttered, almost inaudible to him.
It took a couple of seconds for him to look up from his phone. When he did, he saw the deep concern behind my eyes and his smile quickly turned to a frown.
"Jack can't hurt you, Ash. You have me, and I won't leave your side."
After a small argument, I succumbed to his persuasion and unwillingly decided to go with him. He was set on going, because he would disappoint Taylor if he didn't go. I wish that Cameron would still care about my feelings. Once I stopped freaking out over Jack around him, he stopped caring about my feelings as much as he used to.
I grabbed a pair of ripped high waisted skinny jeans, a pair of white high top converse, and a white short sleeve crop top, along with my makeup bag and my straightening iron, and went into the bathroom to get ready.
"I'm going to the store to get some drinks," I hear Cameron yell from downstairs, followed by the front door slamming shut. I took advantage of the fact that he was gone and called up my best friend Leah.
"Hello?" Leah answered in a groggy voice.
"He wants me to go to Taylor's party and I know Jack is gonna be there and you know how I feel about Jack and-"
"He wants you to go to what?!" She cut me off by screeching into the phone.
"You know what. The party to celebrate the end of our freshman year. Remember how Jack and I crashed it last year since Taylor was the host's roommate?"
I remember that day very clearly. Back then, Jack and I were only friends, but we were best friends. We did everything together. Shopping, partying, watching movies, studying; anything. This party was a bit different though. It was a college party. People were getting drunk off their asses, and there were designated rooms upstairs for having sloppy drunk sex. That was the night I lost my virginity. It was my senior year of high school, and it was lost to Jack that night.
The day after was the day that we began dating. We realized that we loved each other when we woke up in each other's arms the next morning. It was the perfect way to start a relationship; minus the hangover of course.
I never told Cameron this story, and I don't plan on it. Going to the party tonight is going to be a reminder of what happened last year, and I am not the least bit ready to face it.
"Oh yeah, shit! That's when you banged Jack," She chuckled a bit at her choice of words. I laughed too, and tried as hard as I could not to fuck up my eyeliner.
Just as I stopped laughing, I heard the front door open. "I have to go," I said and hung up as quickly as I could.
Cameron knocked on the door and opened it before I told him he could come in. I was only doing my makeup, anyways.
"You look hot as fuck babe," he whispered in my ear as he snaked his arm around my torso. I giggled a bit, trying to cover up how uncomfortable this relationship was making me feel.
Ten more minutes passed and both of us were ready to go. When we turned onto the street corner, you could already hear the music shaking the entire block. We walked in the house hand in hand, and went straight to the counter with the drinks.
The smell of the room was egregious. It was a combination of alcohol, weed, cigarettes, vomit, and sex. I immediately took a couple shots of vodka to compromise my sense of smell.
Cameron pulled me on to the dance floor after taking a few shots himself. My vision was blurry and I was tripping left and right. He smashed his lips on mine for a good five minutes before ordering me to jump on him so he could carry me upstairs. I obeyed without breaking the kiss. When he set me down on the bed he sent trails of wet, sloppy, drunk kisses down my neck.
As his lips got lower, my vision cleared up enough to recognize the room. I could tell by the huge mirror above the wooden dresser and the bookshelf next to it. This was the room that I lost my virginity to Jack in.
"Cameron," I mumbled while trying to shove him off me. "Cameron," I said again, louder this time. "Cameron!" I yelled and shoved him off of me.
"What the hell," he slurred while getting off of the ground.
"I can't do this, not while we're drunk," I said without making eye contact with him. "Go dance with your friends, I'll be down in a minute," I said while scratching the back of my neck. When I looked up I thought his eyes would be full of anger, but they were fraught with concern instead.
"Are you alright Ash?" He asked me quietly.
"I'm fine Cameron, I swear," I lied with a slight smile. He smiled back and kissed me on the cheek before going back downstairs.
I felt my phone buzz in my pocket so I took it out to check it. The alcohol began to pass through my system pretty quickly, and I regained enough of my vision to read the text I had received.
Jack: It's a good thing you didn't bang him in that room. You would've thought of how much better I was the whole time ;)
