Will He Ever?

He Doesn't Know.

Some people assumed that I wanted a boyfriend (apparently my friend Kathy had told people I did), yet I did not. All I wanted is for the one guy I liked to possibly like me back. To want to talk to me and to not get bored. Unfortunately as my very own luck would have it, that did or would never occur.

I was a girl, age 16 at College reading: Art, History, English Literature. My life was my education. The stress. The tears. The pain usually all came from being a student. Yet, for once I was met with the pain and trauma of drama. This was by fair the most wretched experience, as one cannot find a way out but only pursue through the pain to the other side. Once you are in you never really come out.

Never did I ever part take in drama, all my years through secondary I had a close friendship group and no one really fell out. Yet, nearing the end of year eleven... I met a boy, whom ended up tearing my heart apart- leaving me to cry. Thankfully, I recovered. But in order to truly 'get over' Chris, I spoke to Derick. At first it was innocent, he was so mysterious and I wanted to find out why... what was truly there to be told about him. I still remember to this day telling me he knew everything about everyone. Yet, what he didn't know is that I never liked him (not in the romantic sense and if ever it was just as a crush- nothing more). I just liked the person whom I messaged. The smile I gained everything he would say something about me made me feel incredible. No one would ever understand me and the way I felt about him. Not even I truly did understand. Yet, with out it, it felt like I was going to be the only one stuck in tears forever... but he once the one whom helped me out. No matter what everyone thinks of him or how horrendous he has been since. He really did help me when no one else could or wanted too. But the worst thing, is that he hates me now (well I don't actually know what he thinks of me) ,all because of drama. So, the saddest thing of all was not my tears nor the pain, it was the lack of ability to tell this one person that they helped me and to thank them. Yet, even writing this now, I am almost certain he will never know. But some hope in side of me says he will.

However, the irony is that near the end I thought I could see the good within him, yet he proved me ever so wrong. Leaving me to have to make a decision I never wanted to ever do.