the city of light

i personally love this one shot, i hope you do to! please leave your thoughts in the comments! ~ sophie

"Lexa.." was the first thing to come out of Clarke's lips, her eyes fluttering open as she took in her surroundings. It had worked, she'd shut down the city of light and brought everyone back. Her mother looked down at her, smiling as she checked her daughters pulse. "I'm fine" Clarke whispered, telling her mum to go check on Marcus as she stood up wobbly. "Whoa, hey" Bellamy steadied her, nodding at his sister as she helped the wounded before helping Clarke onto her feet. "I did it" Clarke said quietly, her head bent and posture tense. "You don't look like someone who just saved the world" he looked into her blue eyes, surprised to see big tears pooling there. "I couldn't save her" her voice cracked as her feet went numb, Bellamy catching her and placing her on the throne as Abby rushed over. "What happened?" She asked bellamy as he shook his head, "she's not hurt, just..a little broken" Abby looked confused, but leaned down as her daughter started sobbing into her hands. Clutching the flame. "May we meet again" she sobbed at the flame, standing up and running from the room leaving confused people in her wake. No one knew about lexa, no one knew about the love they'd shared. And it was better that way, she'd talk to raven when she got back then she'd be fine. Clarke didn't know where she was going, but when her cheek hit the fur covers of lexa's bed she couldn't hold back the sobs. She wrapped herself in the covers that still smelled faintly like her lover. Wrapped herself in the illusion that everything was going to be alright. Tried to pretend like lexa was sleeping peacefully next to her as she cried the remaining energy out of herself, falling asleep in the candle lit room of her commander. When she woke she felt the soft swaying of the wind, opening her eyes to see herself still lying in the furs but now in the back of a rover. Octavia was instantly at her side, checking her pulse and wrapping the covers firmly round her. "Clarke your mom says you need rest" the girl scolded as Clarke sat up, her vision blurry from too much crying and her head aching. She scanned the rover quickly, locating the red box and cradling it tightly to her chest. She opened it carefully, breathing out in relief as she saw the flame was still there. "I'm fine" she whispered, sitting up and looking out the window. The sky was clear, horses surrounding the rover carrying her mother and many others of skykru. "Is everyone okay?" Octavia nodded, bellamy looking at her from the drivers seat. "You were acting a little strange when you came back from the city of light Clarke, you kept mumbling about losing someone" her face set as she realised what he was talking about, trying to stop the tears and failing. "It was nothing" she sniffed, trying to smile but coming out as a grimace as Octavia pulled her into a hug. "Did you lose someone?" Clarke sobbed into Octavia's shoulder, mumbling a cracked "yes" as they pulled into Arkadia. Pulling in as raven swung the doors open, her smile vanishing as she saw Clarke's state. "Clarke! Are you okay?" She asked, alarmed with her friends crying. Her muffled 'I'm fine' against Octavia's shoulder was cut. "She's not fine" octavia said as they jumped out the rover. "I always give you shit for your decisions Clarke but I couldn't do what you did, especially if you had someone special in the city of light" as Clarke nodded at octavia's words raven smiled brightly. "Oh so it worked? I sent a code to get someone you trusted to be with you" Clarke tried not to sob harder, composing herself as she wiped her tears away and smiling a watery smile. "Thank you" raven pulled her into a hug, whispering soothing words as Clarke let silent tears fall onto her friends jacket. Abby came to see if she was okay, the amount of people checking on her too much so she walked quickly to her room. Grabbing the furs and walking down the corridor. Raven sighed as she left, "any idea who she lost?" She asked Abby, the woman shaking her head as she tried to work out the puzzle which was her daughter. Clarke fell asleep as soon as she hit her bed, her body feeling heavy with the loss of many of her people. But when she woke up the moon was high in the sky, illuminating the empty ark and giving everything a shiny tint. She left her room, sitting cross legged in the back of the rover, holding the flame to her chest and taking a deep breath. "Your fight is over" she whispered in grounder, the wind catching her breath as it echoed around the building. She knew she had to pull herself together, she knew lexa wouldn't want her sobbing in self pity. So she took herself back to bed and set an alarm for 5am, determined to get back on track as the leader she was supposed to be. As the sun rose the next day she jumped out of bed, braiding her hair like lexa taught her and giving herself time to breathe before setting up in the main hall. Grabbing some snacks and a bottle of water before sitting at the table with her sketch pad and a pencil. She hadn't drawn since she'd woken lexa from her nightmare, letting the girl see the portrait she'd done of her before Emerson was brought in. She mindlessly let her pencil scrape the paper, drawing a rough picture of someone's face. It only took her 5 minutes to realise she had in fact been drawing lexa's face. She smiled at the commanders smile, a rare sight for other people but normal for her. She drew war paint on her face, making it look slightly smudged and ragged as it was the first time they kissed. Giving her long hair with intricate braids traveling down her back. "Clarke?" She turned around, jumping at how close raven was and placing a hand on her chest. Her heart beating fast, "raven you scared me, don't do that I could have been armed" raven grinned, still looking concerned at her friend. "What are you doing up so early?" Clarke shrugged, "we've still got a lot to do, I need to either send someone to polis or go myself to see if the coalition is still in place after.." her voice trailed off, mindlessly playing with the necklace around her neck as she pictured what polis was like without its commander. "It was lexa" raven spoke softly, but Clarke caught her words. Looking up into her friends eyes, "The girl you loved, it was lexa right?" Clarke nodded, not letting herself cry for the second time in 2 hours. "Yeah, thank you for sending her to help me. It was nice to say goodbye properly" raven just pulled her into a hug, "I've got something that might help with your grieving" she pulled Clarke into the mechanics room, showing her the computers and holding a chip in front of her face. "A.L.L.E has been disconnected but the city of light- with everyone that died- is still there. If you take this, when you sleep you'll be transferred there. Like a kind of dream, I gave one to Octavia too" she looked at raven in shock, "I swear if you're messing with me.." raven just snorted and handed her the chip, watching as she swallowed it. "Your mum told everyone to sleep in today but I couldn't, so just go back to bed for an hour or two and see if it works" Clarke nodded, feeling a bit nauseous as she headed back to her room. Getting under lexa's furs on her bed before closing her eyes. It felt natural, as she closed her eyes and suddenly they were open and she was standing in the city of light. It was strange being here without everyone trying to kill her, strange seeing her dead people roaming the streets unharmed. Happy and content with this strange life. She walked around for a while, heading down every road and pathway, looking at every shop and store. Before she stopped in front of a building, she felt something inside her tug as she looked at this chapel. Letting her instincts take over she opened the door. Slipping in she saw the room was filled with grounders, you could tell from their tattoos even though they where wearing normal city clothes she'd only ever seen in old movies. She saw Octavia at the front with Lincoln, his arm around her shoulders as they whispered to each other. She felt peace that they were together again, looking around as she found a stair case. Heading up it she stepped onto a small balcony with a view of the whole city, it was beautiful. She spent a few minutes admiring the view, hearing the doors to the chapel open downstair as people started pooling out. She smiled at the grounders, knowing that no one could see her from up here. The quiet night and blissful silence was promptly ruined as the doors to the room slammed open. A figure she knew all too well coming in and freezing at the sight of her. The out of breath girl started spluttering "I saw..downstairs..how?..you can't.." she grinned at lexa, her vision blurry with tears as she took two long strides across the room to cup the brunettes face and kiss her for all she's worth. She felt lexa's tears mingle with hers as they kissed passionately, leaning her forehead against the girls as they broke apart. "I love you, I was so caught up in saving everyone I forgot to say it back. I wanted you to have a life after me so I didn't tell you" she smiled at lexa's words, pulling the brunette into a hug as they sunk to the floor. Just holding each other as they realised how much they had missed one another. "I love you too"