Crossroads: (Yuri Katsuki X Viktor Nikiforov)

Chapter 1 - Decisions

"How can you tell me to return to the ice while saying you're retiring?"

Yuri stared at Viktor, his mind still trying to process the fact that the tears sliding down the other's cheeks were not only real, but from a place of true emotion. Until that moment, Yuri had never felt like he and Viktor were truly connected. At least not on any sort of emotional level. They were both passionate about their sport, and the teacher was no doubt eager to see his student triumph. But in those moments of excitement and success, Yuri couldn't help but feel like they were celebrating parallel to each other, rather than sharing the joy.

For that reason alone, Yuri hesitated in everything when it came to Viktor. The kiss after his performance at The Cup of China, the exchanging of rings in Barcelona... If all of these bits and pieces were strung together, using each stolen moment to create one collective portrait, what would it show? Admiration... Friendship... Love? Would there even be picture at all, or would it simply be a reflection of Yuri's wishful thinking?

"I can't do this anymore," Yuri replied, his soft laughter hollow and empty. "I keep thinking this is a dream. I'm going to wake up one day and you'll be gone. I'll be alone again and everything I've experienced until now will be nothing more than an illusion. I finally know what love is," he continued, smiling as he tried to ignore the catch in his voice, "but I also know what it's like to live without it. I want to remember you and I just like this. For me, that's enough. For a moment in time, you were mine, but now... now it's time to give you back to the world."

"Don't," Viktor hissed, his tone still angry despite the tears brimming in his eyes. "You don't get to do that."

"Do what?" Yuri asked, frowning in confusion.

Viktor closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. The pause couldn't have been for more than a few seconds, but for Yuri it felt like an eternity. When those blue eyes opened again, there was no mercy or kindness in them.

"You want to retire? Fine. But don't make this decision about me. Ask me to stay, and I will. Tell me go, and I'll leave. But don't use me as your justification for quitting. I refuse to be your excuse."

Yuri's frown remained in place, the bed frame creaking as he shifted uneasily on the mattress. Viktor's words were... unexpected. Then again, so were the male's anger and tears. Nothing about this conversation was going the way Yuri had anticipated, and the added sting of Viktor's words had him wondering if there was any truth to them. Was he using Viktor as his excuse to give up figure skating? Retiring had seemed like the next logical step, hadn't it?

"Oh, Yuri," Viktor said, his familiar smile shadowed by muted frustration. "You still don't see it, do you?"

The creases in Yuri's brow deepened, his expression twisting with a sort of silent panic. "What?" he asked, his voice raising an octave. "What don't I see?"

Viktor's smile faltered ever so slightly. If Yuri hadn't been studying his face so intently, he might have missed the subtle change. It was such a small thing, but it was enough to make Yuri's heart skip a full beat.

"Viktor, I—"

Yuri's words were stolen right from his lips, the fleeting kiss rashly given and unexpectedly received. In almost the same moment, the kiss was broken, leaving Yuri both confused and breathless. Viktor pulled back just enough to look him in the eyes; the warmth of his breath like fire against Yuri's flushed cheeks. Brief as it was, there was an edge of desperation to the kiss that made their first one seem like an innocent peck on the cheek.

"I-I... Y-you..." Yuri's mouth snapped shut, his inability to form a coherent sentence adding a hint of genuine humor to Viktor's smile.

The look in that cool blue gaze was enough to make Yuri's heart flutter and skip, sputtering through several beats like an engine trying to start. All he could hear was the blood rushing past his ears, his senses narrowing until every corner of his mind was filled with Viktor... 'It's not fair.' That was Yuri's first thought, the words holding a childish ring to them as they echoed through his head. For one human being to be so utterly perfect... So much so that it psychically hurt to look at them... Where was the fairness in that? Yuri tried to break the spell Viktor had so effortlessly cast, wanting to avert his gaze but unable to turn away. The Russian's impossibly blue eyes glittered in the soft glow of the lamps, their swirling depths seeming to beckon Yuri closer. The longer he stared into them, the deeper he was pulled into the bottomless ocean of blue. He leaned forward involuntary, gasping softly as the sensation of falling rippled through him.