Late Night Out

*3:45am*

Treading soles raced after me before I could gather my composure and hold my insanity at bay. Wordlessly I cursed to myself that he had worn comfortable footwear instead of shinny loafers.

Don't let him see you falter.

I stopped in my tracks, willing myself to face the threat rather than run like I had just done. My feet stood planted in the fuzzy circle of light being projected by the lamp post winding above. Fate had wanted me under the spot light, ready to reveal my fears and render me bare in his sight.

"Where are you staying for the time being? No guard is pleased to have the peace of his ungodly night shift be disturbed." My voice was more clipped than usual; the voice I reserved for when dealing with those I had the displeasure of meeting.

"You're already finished? Are you satisfied putting this night to an end on such a foggy note?" He interrogates. The strain in his voice was evident as he attempted to suppress his frustration.

"You don't understand, Quinn. My thought process would make you see me as a self-pitying, sensitive, egocentric ass." For someone who was very geographically oblivious, it was probably a poor decision to begin walking fueled by my self loathing anger.

"I want the bare backed explanation - no matter how ugly," he attunes in almost a whisper.

Blood rushes to my cheeks as I let out a steadying sigh. My head tilts back at an angle where my line of vision skims the top of his head.

"When I was in high school, I made little to no friends. The friends I did have were great - without a doubt - but I always felt lonely. I grew up pretty shy so I taught myself to tune out their grand discussions of interests I wasn't as invested in. Nothing stopped me from leaving, but I never made the effort to find change because I was scared that this was as good as it got."

My shoulders were aggressively grasped and my head forced to jut downwards. "Amethy, what does this have to do with why you're freaking out?" I could tell Quinn was beginning to lose his reserve; the grace in his speech faltered.

"This is just it. I've known you for less than six hours, but it seems like you've known me for a lifetime, which doesn't make any sense. Girls I have known for the entirety of my high school career never made me feel comfortable enough to express how out of place I felt." I took a daring step towards him and firmly poked his chest accusingly. "But you - you've ruined everything. Anything that happens out of fairy tales is just a mirage and now that it seems as though you've been plucked from a dream - this whole night has just lost its authenticity. Don't you feel like we haven't been living in reality tonight?"

My breathing is ragged by the time I utter my last words as I try to slow my heart beat. When I finally look up from hanging my head in shame, Quinn is pinching the bridge of his nose. His eyes are squeezed shut, the skin around them crinkling.

"You are so cynical, do you know that? You're so blind that you can't see that you just answered your own question," Quinn sighs.

"What is it then?" My temper begins to flare up.

"It's because we've never had a profound relationship that the night has gone the way it has so far. I know little to nothing about you, so I can't make any snap judgements. That's why you feel free to say whatever's on your mind."

In high school, I remember being in the middle of the cluster when it came to the grade pool. Never the smartest, often letting those who stood out snag the last word. But I never relished in being told I was wrong, I don't think anyone does. Silently I would come up with a rebuttal in my head and usually, I have always been able to come up with one.