Have you ever loved someone? Like truly loved someone , not some bouji teen fling lovey dovey bullshit.
I mean like truly loved someone , loved every single thing about them. The way they are , they way they talk , the way they make you feel, their smile , their self being, just them as a person?
And being so in love with them you couldnt bear the fact to ever lose them , but deep down inside you knew eventually theyd forget about you and leave you there alone, weak, and just when you needed them the most.
I hope you havent felt this.
Because I know the feel , its a cold, heartless feeling to be left by someone you hope would be there forever.
I know all this seem cliche and im sure youve heard a million people go over the same bullshit saying how hurt they are , how much they want that person back and its fucking annoying isnt it?
But im guess im gonna be one of those annoying bitches.
I have to deal with seeing someone everyday who hurt me the most.
Its been so long and yet I feel the pain so strong and so real as day 1.
It truly hurts to see that persons face , to hear that persons voice, to have to walk by them and look the other way because one glance at them and the memories drown you, suffocate you and every single word said to you by that person is shoved down your throat without the courtesy of even a glass of water.
And everyday you go about your day acting as if you dont give a flying fuck , you go about doing the same ol things you do.
But suddenly a spur of The moment occurs and you think about that person and laugh because you tell yourself you dont miss that person and that youre doing just fine without them, creating false happiness and lying to yourself hoping you can fool your heart and cloud your mind so that you can go on with your day.
But one thought turns into another and then another and you cant help it , the words , the feelings , every single emotion is re-lived and eventually you break down and cry , cry all the pain youve been holding.
All the hate you feel burst , all the sadness youve been holding cracks. And you realize and say "I still love you".
