DREAD (BOOK 1 OF THE DREAD TRILOGY)

Chapter 4

Everything I thought I was changed. I was in control, I was a strong minded person. People seem to think they are something that they want to be. I wanted to be in control and that's what I thought I was. Once that axe left my hand, I knew that there was a beast inside of me that was threatening to come out. A beast that would push me to my limits until I finally cracked. There is one thing I don't understand though. I killed a dread. My zombie hunter mind doesn't allow me to do that, so how could I have possibly killed him? My thoughts are interrupted by someone touching my shoulder. Then I realise that I am kneeling beside the man I just killed. "Alexandra, let's go inside" Fidelis' soft voice said as she placed her hand onto my shoulder. I also realised that I was crying, hot tears were running down my face. I didn't move. "Come on Ali" she mutters. My head snaps towards her, my eyes wide.

"What did you just call me?" I snap at her. She frowns at me and starts pulling me up. I push her away and shake my head. I then feel this sudden anger run through me. Every time I feel anger it multiplies by ten. "No, get away from me!" I yell. I then feel my body begin to ache, this is what happens when my body wants to turn. "I'm not in control!" I yell at her as I fall to the ground. She backs away from me. Because of this I know my eyes have turned silver, and it is a warning to her to get the heck away from me. I put my head in my hands as my head begins to ache, I want to scream but I feel like I can't without turning. Fidelis then shakes her head and grabs onto my shoulders, she makes me look her in the eye.

"You are in control Alexandra" She says. She doesn't lose eye contact. "Don't let it take over, don't give it that satisfaction" She says. I nod. I close my eyes so I can concentrate on my thoughts.

'I am Alexandra Ductor, I am Sixteen years old, I am not a monster. I have a brother, his name is Luke. I'm friends with Tobias, I might even like him' I think to myself. I don't know why I thought the last part, maybe because I was trying to connect to any other emotion that wasn't anger. I open my eyes and Fidelis is there. She sighs in relief. The pain in my body starts to fade away. "Thank you" I mutter under my breath, I think that she hears me though.

"Let's go inside" she says. I don't say anything, I just walk towards the large building. "Ali, are you okay?" she asks. Why is she being nice to me? She hasn't called me that since the day she found out I was a Dread.

"Quit calling me that, you can't call me that" I snap at her. The look of disappointment appears on her face. I sigh as I know that I am being too harsh. "Sorry" I mumble under my breath but she still hears me of course.

"No, you shouldn't be sorry. You save mine and my brother's life and how do I repay you?" She asks. "By being a bitch. Tobias came and talked to me about it, he really cares about you" she says with a soft smile. "Anyway I realised that I was being horrible because I felt like I owed you something and I felt like I couldn't repay you for what you did for me, my brother is still alive because of you. When you could have been protecting your mother" Fidelis says, she gives me a sorry look. Yes, my brother and I are orphans now. Mum died in the Dread attack, I didn't see it but Luke did. He tried to save her but he couldn't, he was too far away from her. I know that he blames himself for her death and I wish he didn't. I blame the stupid scientist that created the dread virus. That's why I hate what I am. I am one of the monsters that caused my mothers death.

"I never truly understood you" I mutter.

*

I was in training the next day with Tobias. We were both teaching a class of teenage boys. My brother was included in the group. Once they started practicing throwing knives, Tobias began to talk. "I heard what happened" He says openly. Of course he did, Fidelis doesn't know how to keep her mouth shut.