Family Ties (girlxgirl)

Chapter 26

Vivian had been right, a week working at a farm, away from civilization was what Sarah needed. She worked easy outdoor jobs. Her leg was slowly healing and Sarah made sure not to rip the stitches too often. Sunny had come by for a couple of days. The young Asian happened to love horses and would go riding with Vivian when she could. Ben and Carly also came to ride and say hello. Vivian's friends had tried to bring Vivian clubbing and weren't too happy when she declined. Once, when Vivian was working a horse, her friends passed by Sarah to confront her. It had not gone very well. Vivian had heard the shouts from the other side of the farm. She had to run and stop them before they resolved into fists instead of words. Vivian had stood up for Sarah in a heartbeat and received threats from them. Vivian didn't seem to mind it at all, probably because she simply didn't care about school life.

As Sarah guessed, Vivian was much more mature than the rest of students in that posh school. The only reason she hung out with the girls was out of boredom and, as she very well told them, she found entertainment elsewhere.

"Yeah, in the bitch's pants" one of the girls had said as the others laughed aloud. Sarah had never seen Vivian so angry. Vivian, an upper class girl who learned respect, politeness and never to show discomfort, had slapped her soon to be ex-friend so hard, everyone could see her perfect hand print on the girl's cheek. Vivian had been beyond threatening that evening and, admittedly, had scared Sarah a little.

"Wow" Sarah had whistled after the girls ran away crying and swearing. "I never knew you were able of such violence"

"Now I understand why you fight all the time" Vivian replied with a small smile, tough still distraught "It did feel good"

"Ha, told you so" Sarah grinned then winced when her broken lip widened.

For the last week, Sarah felt much better. She had gained some of her color back and her strength slowly returned. She still had trouble sleeping and had been diagnosed with an eating disorder. Sarah had trouble keeping the food down and more often than not, she would throw up what she had eaten that day. Claustrophobia, PTSD, depression, paranoia and now and eating disorder. Sarah was getting tired off all of her diagnostics. It is hard for a person to live with one of these disorders, its hell if one has to live with all of them. Sarah found it better to admit her disorders and live with them. To adjust her life according to what her mind and body were limited to than to try and heal them. It was simply not possible. It was life trying to forget her past.

"I never forget what happened to me" Sarah had once explained to Vivian. "I want to remember everything, because I know more and understand more than most people in this society. I want to embrace what I lived so that I can defend myself, protect myself in the future. Hell I can probably help other people"

"You have nothing to prove" Vivian had replied.

"I know. But surviving makes us who we are. The past determines our future. Everything we know came from somewhere in our past. It is our decision to use what we have to build what comes next. If I forget my past, I have nothing to build for as everything that happened to me is who I have become. I decide what to do with what I know and my decisions had led me here. Do you think Leanne would have opened her home if it were anyone else who held her at gun point?"

"You were lucky"

"Maybe I was. Or maybe that was only part of it. People who are stuck like me rarely have hope, but every time there is an opportunity to escape that life, every time there is an exit we have to take it. Otherwise we're lost. I have tried over and over again to escape and its only now paying off. Maybe I was lucky, but you're good probabilities: The more you try, the better a chance you'll succeed"