Have u lost your way

Living in the shadow

Here is the second chapter and I'm seriously so sorry I didn't update earlier! If you like to know I'm writing Saulbert fanfics with my glamsis: Search for 'RoleStories' and you will find a fanfic named "Difference Between Two Worlds". That's a fanfic I've been writing.

SAULI'S POV#

I felt like dying. My mom had forced me to go to talk with psychologist. She fucking forced me! I know she has been worried but my doings were not her business! It's my life! And I'm almost 18! I should have free hands to do what I want. Maybe I have been drinking, cutting myself and being an asshole to everyone. Still this is my life. Everything feels fucked up. I told my mother that I'm not going to tell anything to my psychologist. No. I didn't want problems anymore. I didn't need more. I was pretty sure this asshole is gonna tell my parents. I did trust no one. Once I made a one BIG mistake when I trusted someone who was really important to me but isn't here anymore... Ugh, I don't wanna talk about it.

My first thought when I saw this psychologist was 'Wow' - he was gorgeous. He has black silky, soft looking hair, perfect eyebrows, the most beautiful blue eyes I have ever seen. Even his nose was absolutely perfect. And his lips...oh God those lips...

I quickly ignored it all. I'm not going to be nice to him. I stared at him and tried to be as rude as I can. He is not my friend. He is an enemy who tries to force me tell everything.

I actually told him some things. I don't know. He just asked and I answered accidentally. After my answer I was again rude. He really tried to get me tell everything even if he seemed so nice and comfortable person. Still I couldn't help myself from staring at him while he was writing something up. He looked so peaceful. I tried to avoid our eye contact every time he looked at me. I kept my eyes looking down at my hands which were in my lap. I probably looked stressed and that's what I was.

"You don't know a half about stress!"

Why the hell did I say that? His perfect face looked at me curiously. Well I was angry at the moment and almost said he is gorgeous. Why did I believe gorgeous people could not be stressed? I think no one could bully this beautiful man. I mean just by looking at me you can say I'm a loser. I'm not beautiful. I'm not even close being gorgeous. I hate myself. I really do. And I think everyone else hates me too.

"Sauli?"

"Mm?"

"Were you going to say...gorgeous?"

Fuck!

"I'm not mad. Please tell me."

I did answer.

"Sweetheart you don't have to be so shy around me, okay?"

"You called me...sweetheart?"

"Oh...Oh no, I'm really sorry. It came from nowhere."

"It...felt kind of...nice..."

"Really? What are you feeling right now?"

You seriously wanna know what I'm feeling right now? Okay, well it's hard to explain it in words 'cause it's more like 'awwsdfghjkl' and I believe it's better for you and me if I won't say that. I was seriously freaking out at the moment. My heart started beating faster and my hands were shaking a bit. What the fuck? I was excited and that was weird. He was my fucking phychologist! Not a lover! Sauli calm the fuck down already! And don't say anything stupid okay? I would better be shut up and try to him forget it too. But how the hell was that possible? Be rude Sauli, remember.

No answer.

"You said it felt nice..."

No answer.