Rumors [H.S. FANFICTION]

Chapter 2- Independence

Classes start tomorrow and I can't help but worry. I keep telling myself that it's not something to worry about, that I'll make friends and that they'll like me. I treat my anxiety like it's a stage, and there's a whole pyramid of stages to go through, but it's not. I'll always have this piece of me, and it'll never fade.

Today I woke up sad, again. I contemplated my life, my purpose. Will I ever find somebody who accepts my flaws? Will I ever overcome my fears? My insecurities?

I get out of my bed, and walk to the bathroom with a sluggish posture. I turn the shower on and brush my teeth while it heats up. I can't help but to look into the mirror and judge myself. My caramel hair, and green eyes. They're nothing. Connie, you're beautiful. You know this.. my conscious says. I brush it off and step into the steaming shower. I wet my hair under the running water and begin to lather my tea tree shampoo into my scalp. I then move on to rinsing my hair, and continuing to conditioner, and then body wash. I begin to think of all of the possibilities ahead of me. I could potentially start a whole new life here on campus. I could meet new people, be more like Brielle. I envied my best friend. Everything about her made my confidence lack. Her beautiful brunette hair that fell just below her shoulders, and her royal blue eyes. Her body was perfect too. Her hourglass shape made me look at myself as if I was nothing. But I know that Brielle is my safe haven. She is the reason I got through what I have. She's my best friend and I will not belittle her for how her appearance makes me feel.

I exit the shower and wrap a towel around my body, and one around my head to dry my hair. I then hear my front door open and close. "Connie! It's Brielle, I need to talk to you!" She yelled down the hardwood floored hall. I walk out of my bathroom and into the hallway. "Is everything okay, Bri?" I ask with my brows furrowed. "Yes everything's fine-" she let's out a small giggle. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's alright, what's up?" I ask.

"My mom just called me and she needs me to fly home for a few days so I'll miss the first two days of classes." She says with a guilty face.

"Why? Is she okay?"

"Yes, it's nothing bad. My brother is proposing to his girlfriend and she wants me to be there."

I smile at Brielle.

"That's awesome! Tell him I say congratulations," i tell her with a genuine smile. "What am I going to do without you here? "

"Be yourself. You'll be okay. Don't be scared to talk to people and make friends. It's only two days Con."

She's right. That's nothing!

I walk back into my bedroom to get dressed. Brielle follows behind and I could tell that she  was feeling bad. "I love you Connie, you know that. When I get back we can go out to lunch! I'll make it up to you," she says as she pulls me into her embrace.

"I love you too Brielle, but I'm naked."

She laughs way too hard as she begins to say "I need to get heading to the airport but I'll call you whenever I can okay? I left my car for you. The keys are on the kitchen counter. I miss you already!"

I smile as she walks out of my room.

You'll be fine. You're not a basket case.

I spent the rest of my day preparing for classes. Tomorrow I have an 8 am anatomy and physiology class, and then calculus at 1.

So far I've packed my bag full of pens and pencils, notebooks, and my laptop. I don't know how I'm going to wake up at 7 am.

It's 11:00 and I need to get to sleep, but I can't stop myself from watching old family videos. My dad was so sweet to my sisters and I in those videos, and they ease my anxiety. I know that even if there is no heaven, that my dad is somewhere looking after me.

I start to fall asleep to my fathers voice, and the thoughts and memories I have with him. I'm safe when I think of him.
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I jolt awake as I hear my alarm buzz next to my face. I jump out of bed with unexpected excitement, like a little kid on the first day of school. I quickly shower and brush my teeth in my usual routine. I run to my closet to throw on some jeans and a lacey white tank top with a grey cardigan. I rush to my vanity and begin to apply some simple makeup. I don't need to overdo it, it's just school. I apply some powder and mascara and turn on my curling iron. As it heats up, I look into the mirror and judge, again. My hair was much longer than Brielle's. It was almost the the bottom of my back, but it never seemed to be enough for me. I look down to see that my curling iron was flashing green meaning that it was completely heated. I create simple waves and then finish off with some hairspray.

After that, I look into the body mirror on my wall. Somebody will appreciate those curves one day... I tell myself.

I grab my bag and rush down the stairs. I grab a yogurt and a banana and head off to class.
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I'm early to anatomy and physiology, so I find a seat in the back while everybody arrives. I take the extra 10 minutes to eat my yogurt and banana and text Brielle to make sure she got home to Utah safe.

Me: Hey Bri, I just got to class. Did you make it home safe? Miss you. :)

Brielle: Con! I made it! Have a great first day. You can do this. <3

I put my phone down as I finish eating the last bit of my banana and look up just in time to see the gentleman from the Chinese food place walk through the door. Oh god, it's him. Just my luck... I thought to myself.

I get up to throw away my yogurt container and banana peel, and right when I walk past the boy, he recognizes me. "Connie! Wow, it's great to see you!" He smiles with a beautiful expression. 

"Hi," I say very nervously. He can sense how nervous I am and brushes it off. He lets out a small sigh of happiness and sits right next to where my seat is. I throw away my trash and walk back to sit next to the handsome man who bought my meal.

I look at him, trying my best to be the confident Connie I used to be. Fake it till you make it, right?

"Thank you for buying my food the other day. You really didn't have to do that," I smile.

"It was my pleasure. I know how stressful it can be when there's a line." He says as he gets his notebook out of his bag.

"I never got your name," I mutter.

"My name's Harry. Harry Styles. I'm happy to see you again," he says as his eyes light up.

"Me too..."

Class begins and I find it very hard to focus. I'm dozing off into space as my teacher talks about the urinary system and informs us on how she would like us to take notes for her class. All I can think about is Harry's gorgeous green eyes and cheeky smile. I can feel him gaze over at me every once in a while and my stomach starts to turn every time.

When class ended, Harry catches my attention with a slight brush on my arm.

"Hey Connie, what're you doing tonight? My friends and I are having a bonfire in my back yard and I'd love for you to join us!"

Say yes Constance. This is the perfect opportunity to make friends.

"I'd love to, that sounds great," I fake a smile.

"Great! I can pick you up if you'd like?" He says very excitedly.

"Okay," I smile and nod.

We exchange phone numbers as I walk to Brielle's car.

"I'll see you tonight!" Harry says.

"See you," I say as I wave. 
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