The Dream That Saved Me

"I lost where I was goin', 'cause I forgot where I came from."

A/N: You know what I'm sorry guys!! It so was not my fault Wattpad has been fuckin' with my story!! But just because I love you I'm gonna use the school wifi and my Nook to write! YAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!

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As I lay in bed with Dimitri in my arms I start to think of my older brother, I wonder if he knows about this whole Drifter thing. The note I wrote him drifts into my mind--

"Dear Sterling,

There's somethings I have to tell you, that you had no idea about. When I got pregnant with Dimitri, it wasn't out of love or passion, I was raped, but lets not dwell on that, I'm not upset about what I got out of it, the hope I needed. I love Dimitri no matter who his "Father" is or what he did to me, Dimtri was and is the true love in my heart. I don't want you to try and find my tormenter, because you won't I'm not telling you who it is. Just know that I'll be with my Dimitri soon. Please tell mommy that I love her, and that I want her to get better if not for me then for her, tell her I don't blame anything on her, she didn't know how to handle her pain and I like her can't handle my pain either. Tell Dria that I love her and that if not for her I probably would have done this a lot sooner. Tell Skippy that he to was like my brother too, if it also wasn't for him a lot of bad things would have happend, tell him that he needs to get over La La, shes not coming back.. she was a bitch and a fake anyways.. He needs to move on, Blaze is free, also she has a crush on him and we all know he likes her too. Tell daddy, if you ever see him, that I can never be able to forgive him but I love him and that he's still my daddy no matter what wrong he has done to me and everyone else.

Love,

Mika Reena Lawley"

I look down at Dimitri and I stroke his face as I sang to him a song I would always sing when I felt down before I went to sleep at night.

Mama said "You're pretty girl,

Whats in your head, it doesn't matter,

Brush your hair, fix your teeth,

What you wear is all that matters."

Just a another stage, pageant the pain away

This time I'm gonna take the crown

With out going down, down, down

Pretty hurts, we shine the light on whatevers worse

Perfection is a disase of a nation, pretty hurts, pretty hurts

pretty hurts, we shine the light on whatevers worse

You're tryna fix something, but you can't fix what you can't see

Its the soul that needs the surgery

Uh huh huh

Blonder hair, flat chest

Tv says "Bigger is better"

South beach, suger free

Voge says "Tinner is better"

Perrty hurts, we shine the light on whatevers worse

Perfection is a disease of a nation, pretty hurts, pretty hurts

Pretty hurts, we shine the light on whatevers worse

You're tryna fix somthing but you can't fix what you can't see

Its the soul that needs the surgery

Ain't got no doctors or pills to take the pain away

Nobody can save you its your body

Its the soul, its the soul that needs the surgery

Its my soul that needs the surgery--

As I was about to sing the last couple of verses I was interupted by clapping and cheering.

"Gods your voice is beautiful" Said a deep voice I've never hurd before, I snapped my head up in the direction of my bedroom door. I found Cian and two other guys standing at my door, I stutterd a little when I answerd "O-Oh t-thank you w-w-who ever s-said that" then I flashed a smile in thier direction.

The one that was to the right of Cian stepped up with is had raised and said "Um that would be me, the name's Jaime, well you'll know that when you get your memory all back together, I was like your bestfriend, I hope we get to know each other all over again soon so we can act all crazy and piss people off again, while eating tacos!!" I giggled quietly trying to not wake up Dimitri, because he fell asleep while I sang too him.

The one on the left stepped up now he kind of bowed to me, I blushed a little, he glanced up at me and gave me a small smile and said "Good afternoon your Highness, my name is Valentino and I one of Cians close friends but one of your friends as well" I blushed somemore when her called me "Your Highness". I've been treated with so much respect before if I have I don't remember it.

Cian pushed them both out of the way, he looked kind of irritaded, he bent down a kissed Dimitrie on the forhead and then me on the cheeks. I swear my face was on fire.

I gave them all hugs and told them goodnight, they left me be with my baby Dimitri, and I cooed more songs to him until I fell asleep myself.

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Sorry I haven't updated in months a lot of shit has been going down, Im also going to update my other story soon

Love,

Momma Bear

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