My Untold Past

Part 1

I felt something drop in my stomach, though it could have been the sickness I've been feeling, I knew it truly wasn't that. My nerves made every hair rise, like I had stepped into a freezer. The aroma of cleanliness and yet so much illness, was filling my nose. It was only myself, Jenna, and a few other patients sitting there, waiting. Darkness filled the space just through the glass, barely visible through the water. looking like a oil painting with a few specs of light here and there through pure black. Inside theses walls, things are gray. My emotions reflect onto the walls. Pail. Empty. Blank. 'Why are you even here? You already know the answer.' The little voice whispered. It was right, I already knew. Things are about to change rather I want it to or not.

"Hailey?" I look up to see a short, older woman. Her long brown hair pulled back in a bun. I could see a silver strip of hair tucked on the underside of a darker strand. Taking in every little detail of my surroundings, I dreaded the fact I had just heard my name. Sighing, I rose to my feet, with no means to get anywhere fast. "I'll be right out," I say aloud, setting my heavy Carhartt jacket over the back of the deep blue chair. Time seems to pass slower and slower with every step. I can feel eyes burrowing into the back of my head, but no one was paying attention. "Hello, third door on the left," she said with a smile on her face, like today couldn't have been any better for her. I envied that. Me, on the other-hand, I know what was going to result in this, and I wanted nothing more then to be invisible for once. Nonexistent. The hallway behind the waiting room door was empty, blank, colorless with white. It had the vibe to make you feel like you were going to be locked in these walls. Crossing the doorframe to the third room on the left, it felt so much more lively. Blue filled the room with emotions of previous patients. "Have a seat, and tell me why you're here this evening." She whispered, I barely heard her underneath the rattling coming from the ceiling ceiling and the tapping on the roof. "Ah, well, I have randomly been getting sick and vomiting, random stomach pains, and I am about three and a half weeks late..." I answer, my voice fading with my response. Shock appeared to creep onto her face as she reviewed my file. "And what's your date of birth?" I could hear the shaking in her voice as she asked her questions. 'She knows as well.' The little voice screams. A sudden drop in my chest causes me to want to vomit right then. "Oh it's 07-25-99," I try to make it sound stronger then I am feeling, but I feel like she can tell I am scared. 'How are you going to tell him this?' The little voice was right, I couldn't tell him, he'll leave. "So, we're going to have you take this cup and go give us a urine sample, and then we'll take some blood," I hear, being pulled out of my thoughts. Arm reached out, with the clear plastic cup with a sticker on it in hand, I grab the cup from her grasp and don't move. Fear was running through me. Fear of what this cup will tell me, fear of how my life will change, fear of losing him, fear of the world I suddenly felt like a speck of sand in. "The restroom is right down the hall to the right, last door on the left before the waiting room," I hear before the door closes behind the nurse. Pulling myself out of my head, I rose to my feet and made them move. Reaching the door, I hovered my hand over the doorknob for what feels like and eternity. Just go and get it over with, it's not doing you any good standing here. The voice tells me sternly. Stepping out into the hallway, I start to slug my way to the bathroom. It seems like a million miles away, but yet, only felt like two steps. Approaching the end of the hall, I wanted nothing more then to be able to rewind time, and never have to end up here.

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Hey guys! this is a true story so please no hate. It's a very touchy subject for me to finally come out and tell people about, so please no hate.