Feysand One shots

Numb

(Mor POV)

Azril and Cassian are going to be fine, I told myself again for the hundredth time. Armen had finally kicked me out of Azril's room telling me to go get some rest, stating she would watch over the Illiarian for now. I walked aimlessly down the stairs, every muscle in my body ahed with exhaustion, but I knew that there would be no rest tonight. My feet stopped in the living room as I stared at the blood stains on the carpet, that nobody had bothered to clean up yet. Their blood, my family's blood. Anger boiled through me. They would pay for this. They would all pay.

Pulling my eyes away from the rug I scanned the bottom floor of Rhys townhouse in Velaris. I had come looking for my cousin, after being kicked out of the rooms upstairs, but couldn't find him anywhere. The last I had seen him was when he had left after the healers had attended to Cassian and Azril, that had been hours, or maybe even a whole day ago. Sighing I turned on my heel, and headed to the one place I suspected he would be.

As I approached the roof I could see him sitting in a chair, lazily holding a glass and bottle of whisky, his head bent low between his shoulders. Defeated, he was defeated. Never, I had never seen him like this. Rhys had always been strong. I forced down the terror that rose at the thought that he was broken forever, and closed the distance between us. He didn't acknowledge my presence as I drew closer, only continued to refill and down his glass of whisky. When I was standing only a foot away from him I stopped, and cleared my throat.

"Armen kicked me out of Azril's room, said that I should rest", I scoffed. When Rhys didn't respond I continued, "They are going to be fine, I know it. And then we are going to kill those Hybryn bastards." Rhys downed another glass of whisky but didn't look at me.

"Rhys?" I knelt down so that I was at eye level with him, but he lowered his gaze. "We will get her back Rhys, I promise." Downing another glass of amber liquid, Rhys stood and walked to the railing leaning his back against the rail.

"I can't stay in my... our" he corrected "room. Her scent it." I stood and walked to him taking his hand, squeezing it tightly. "I know" I whispered, "I know." "I came out here because it's not as strong here." He added as he took another swig of the amber liquid. Gently I grabbed the bottle and glass from his hands and sat them on the railing.

"How long have you been out here drinking?"

"Not long enough." I knew my cousin well enough to know that he was trying to drink until he could no longer feel, until all senses were numb. He had only been this troubled a few times in the past centuries, once after his Mother and Sister died and after he returned from under the mountain.

I handed him back the bottle and glass, filling it as I did so. "Would you like company?" Rhys drained the glass, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand he rasped out a "no". I poured myself a glass anyway and sat on the cool floor. We sat in silence drinking on the roof, until the world around me started to blur, leaning my head back I closed my eyes not to sleep, but to keep the world from spinning.

(Rhys POV)

My mind kept playing the same image over and over, the blinding flash of light, Feyre screaming grabbing at her head, and then her face the last time I saw her, my mate, before grabbing her sisters and winnowing here. Here, away from her, while she left, chose to leave with him. So strong my mate, stronger than me. I knew the moment we showed up in Velaris without her, it would be hard, but I hadn't expected it to feel like this. I was drowning, the pain I felt at being separated from my mate, the anger that consumed me. I took another long sip of my drink, the alcohol burning my throat, waiting. Waiting for the moment when I wouldn't feel or care to feel, but it hadn't yet come. So I poured myself another glass.

The sound of glass clanking against the concrete floor, startled me out of my thoughts, and I looked down to see that Mor was sleeping or more like passed out on the ground beside me. Bending to pick her up, I placed her on the lawn chair and covered her with a blanket, before grabbing the bottle and walking back inside. I could hear Armen talking to the healers about Cassian, but not wanting to deal with that right now, I stumbled towards my, our room and leaned against the door frame for support, as I slowly pushed the door open.

Just yesterday morning we had slept here together, naive, happy. I downed another glass of whisky as I sat on the bed. The whole room reeked of her, my mate, of us our scents intertwined. My heart ached and I pulled tugged, as hard as I could on the tethering cord that connected us. Within seconds I felt a response, small, but there on the other end of the bond. "I love you Feyre" I whispered to the silence surrounding me, as I raised a glass of amber liquid to my mouth draining it in one swift gulp. My vision started to loose focus, as I laid back on the bed hands covering my face. Letting sleep overcome me, I closed my eyes to welcome the nightmares that were sure to come.