Swallowed in the Sea

Introduction

It's funny how you spend until 3:00 on a Sunday feeling sorry for yourself.

You have the whole day to do whatever you want, you know?

And I sit here still feeling sorry for myself. I sit here cooped up in my room feeling like no one wants me.

Which technically isn't true, considering I do have amazing friends. Part of it might just be laziness, maybe I'm just tired, or maybe it's even just the fact that it's Sunday.

The truth of the matter is I feel cut off from everything. My greatest fear is dying in a state of depression or dying with regrets or just dying in general.

I need friends to stay happy and when I feel I start off a day being sad and moping around, BAM.

3:00

I haven't contacted anyone all day, well it's three o'clock already.

Today is practically OVER.

I do not know why I feel like this all the time. Then a friend will text me. I force myself to reply and then we talk on the phone.

I get right back to my normal self. Even when either they have to go, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Then tomorrow morning comes.

I get swallowed back into this sadness.

Swallowed in the sea.