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For her

"Pass me the ash tray son."

I took my eyes off the book, and peeked over it. I sighed and handed the ash tray to dad. He dumped his cigar in it. Mom saw all this and was staring at both of us with a blank face. Before she could react, dad took out a packet of cigarettes. Opening it, he lit one and handed me another.

Taking the lighter from him, I lit the cigarette and leaned in more on my couch. I shot a glance at mom and saw the word 'depressed' scripted on every cell of her face. She looked down and went inside the kitchen. My eyes made their way towards dad, who was busy puffing out smoke.

"Blake!!!" Excitement ran through my veins as the cute little voice of my sister reached my ears. I closed my book to see her running towards me. Getting up, I picked her and swirled her around. The 5 year old angel was laughing, which had me grinning.

As soon as her eyes landed on the cigarette kept next to my book, the happiness on her face vanished and a look of disappointment dominated her face. I placed her on the couch and smiled.

"Blake, when will you stop killing yourself?" She asked with a blank face and I sighed. "Let me keep this to myself. Stay out of it." Closing my eyes, I headed towards the balcony and in seconds, reached there. Running a hand through my hair, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

It had always been like this. Dad had this smoking habit from years! At one stage, I was like my sister, constantly asking dad - when will he quit smoking. Never knew that, one day I will be answering that question myself.

At new year's Eve.
"So mom, how is your dashing son looking?" I saw her eyes travelling up and down my tux, and saw a grin covering her lips slowly. I couldn't help but smirk.

"You said it yourself son. And I don't think that I need to describe." She said with a wink and a chuckle escaped my lips. Taking her in a hug, I kissed her forehead. She wrapped her arms around my back and we stood there in that position for minutes.

"Where is your dear husband?" Mom heard the question and stood straight. She smiled and went back to stand in front of the mirror. Adjusting her gown, she said,"Must be praising himself in a corner. You know it son, that girls don't even look at that old duff now." Laughing, I looked in the mirror once again, before making my way out towards dad's room.

Anabelle, my cute little sister, was busy with her make up. They say that daughters go on their mothers. Correct they say.

I reached dad's room and saw his door closed. Knocking, I said,"Dad ready? We are getting late for the mass." The answer that I got in reply was silence.

Pursing my lips in a thin line, I knocked again and called for him. Still, there was no reply. "Must be busy staring at himself." I said to myself and this time, opened the door straight away. "Come on dad, no girl is going to..."

My words flew away in the sky and now I was left speechless. I stood there in the same position, trying to digest the scene in front of my eyes. The world aroun me came to a standstill, and my jaw dropped down to the floor.

Right in front of my eyes, my dad laid on the floor, his hands and legs shivering. A foam was coming out of his mouth and he was coughing hard. "Daddddddd." I screamed in a high pitched voice and ran towards him. Seconds later, I heard the sound of clicking of heels approaching the room as well.

"Dadddddd, what's wrong? What on earth happened?" 
"Stuarttttt...."
Mom rushed towards him and I noticed dad's eyes slowly turning towards us.

"I.. n..no smoke n..now.." Those were the last words I heard from him before he closed those brown orbs forever.

My face turned blank and I looked over at mom to find her in the same state. Anabelle stood at the door, trying to understand what happened.

"No..N.. no."

Mom kept her trembling hand at dad's chest and after some seconds, I saw her eyes widening.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo."

I looked at dad again and saw him lying motionless. Soon my vision turned blurry, before stream of tears ran down my cheeks.

2 January 2017.
"May Lord help his soul find the way to the afterlife, may..."

My brain stopped paying attention to the priest's words as my eyes landed on my mom. She fell on her knees and started smashing her head on the ground. Women around, rushed towards her as she kept crying - the thing which she has been doing from the last 2 days. Seeing her in that state, broke me from inside and I looked at my dad's body.

It was then when I said,"This new year, my resolution is for love. I am going to quit smoking and live for mom. I am going to give her all the happiness that she wants. I WILL QUIT SMOKING." I screamed before breaking down again.

A month later.
"Blake, a cigarette a day won't kill you." Josh said while lighting his cigarette. I just smiled and looked down. "Yeahh blake come on. Just once."
"Blake, take this and enjoy."

All my friends were looking at me. "No." I replied and they looked at each other.

Josh smiled and said,"Why aren't you smoking from the past month?"

A smile appeared on my face. I took out my wallet and opened it, too see a smiling picture of mom right in front. I ran my index finger on it and kissed her pic before saying,"For her."

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