CUT TO: TAXI
Deadpool sits in the back of a taxi cab. He takes a pamphlet for ‘Haunted Segway Tours’, folds it up, and puts it in his pocket. He plays with the window. He puts his finger in some gum on the ceiling. He tries flicking it off, but it ends up on the camera lense. He picks it off. Cut to the taxi driver. Suddenly, Deadpool sticks his head up front.
DEADPOOL: Kinda lonesome back here.
He begins climbing up into the passenger seat, grunting.
DEADPOOL: Little help?
DOPINDER: Sir, I have to keep my hands on the wheel.
DEADPOOL: Excuse me.
He finishes climbing into the seat and rights himself. The cabbie extends his hand.
DOPINDER: Dopinder.
DEADPOOL: Pool. Dead.
They shake hands. Deadpool notices a picture of a woman on Dopinder’s dashboard.
DEADPOOL: Mmm. Nice.
DOPINDER: Smells good, no?
DEADPOOL: Not the Daffodil Daydream. The girl.
DOPINDER: Ah, yes. Gita. She is quite lovely. She would have made me a very agreeable wife, but, um… Gita’s heart has been stolen by my cousin Bantu. He is as dishonorable as he is attractive.
DEADPOOL: Dopinder, I’m starting to think there’s a reason I’m in this cab today.
DOPINDER: Yes, sir, you called for it, remember?
DEADPOOL: No, my slender, brown friend. Love is a beautiful thing. When you find it, the whole world tastes like Daffodil Daydream.
DOPINDER: Mmm.
DEADPOOL: So you gotta hold onto love. Tight!
Deadpool makes a fist. Dopinder copies him.
DEADPOOL: And never let go. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Got it?
Dopinder nods.
DOPINDER: Yes.
DEADPOOL: Or else the whole world tastes like Mama June after hot yoga.
DOPINDER: Sir, what does Miss Mama June taste like?
DEADPOOL: Like two hobos fucking in a shoe filled with piss.
DOPINDER: Okay, stop.
DEADPOOL: I can go all day, Dopinder. The point is, it’s bad.
DOPINDER: It’s bad. Uh, why the fancy red suit Mr. Pool?
DEADPOOL: Oh, that’s because it’s Christmas Day, Dopinder. And I’m after someone on my naughty list. I’ve been waiting one year, three weeks, six days, and oh…
He checks his Adventure Time watch.
DEADPOOL: Fourteen minutes to make him fix what he did to me.
DOPINDER: And what did he do to you?
DEADPOOL: This shit.
Deadpool lifts up his mask, revealing his horribly scarred face.
DEADPOOL: Boo!
CUT TO: AIRPORT RUNWAY
Francis sits on top of a crate. A helicopter lands a few yards away. Some men get off. One in particular approaches him. Francis smiles and taps on a crate, standing up.
