Bdsm Virgin

Part 1

I've heard it all.

With my name, Chance, each and every pun has made its way to my ears.

My parents evidently thought it a fun name, interesting name, unique name. So, I will introduce myself. My name is Chance Ames.

The pun, "Chance aims well," is one of the most frequently heard. Or "Hey, Chance! Aim it over to me!" Those are my favorite. Even my editor Theresa, is guilty of playing with my name.

When I first began as a regular contributor for the Feminine Digest, my proposed byline "Chance Ames Well" was nixed by me right off the bat. My writing is feminist view oriented and to try to play with an old pun just didn't serve the nature of my weekly contributions. Fortunately, it was dropped and never brought up again.

When I heard the ping on my phone and picked up the text message from Grace, the chief editor, instructing me to come to her office that afternoon to discuss my next assignment, I was surprised. Grace did not play around with trivial assignments, and to receive one from her was like receiving the Holy Grail.

***

I strolled into the magazine's offices with excited confidence. My last series on sexuality from a feminist's point of view had received kudos from Grace – something of a miracle in itself.

I entered her office with a bit more apprehension. Without a glance toward me, she motioned me to sit. Cautiously, I lowered myself into the beige chair.

Beige. Perfect description of Grace – or anything to do with Grace. Unobtrusive and nondescript – beige. Few words and even fewer nods of acknowledgement. She is no-nonsense. Beige. Her hair is even beige with gray growing in. Her skin is beige. Her clothes monotone. Yes, you guess it! Beige!

As I sat across from her at her oval desk, nothing was said. She simply looked up at me, lowered her reading glasses, blinked her wide set brown eyes, and tossed an article that had appeared in a competitor's magazine. The headline blared, "BDSM: Stress Relief or Abuse?"

"This! Why have we not had this done?" Grace peered up at me with a sardonic look on her face.

"Grace, seriously? BDSM? 50 Shades stuff? It's not my style."

"And just what exactly IS your style? I know 50 Shades is old news. I'm not that off the grid, but something is going on, and I don't want the Digest to ignore it. You seem to have a thumb into feminist sexuality, and I know how you felt about 50 Shades, but why aren't you bringing this to me?"

I had no words for her. All I could do was blink my eyes in disbelief. She was seriously wanting me to write about this?

"Grace, how do you want it approached?" My mind was racing. The last thing I wanted was to portray a Christian Grey sort of male, as sexy as that character was. The alpha male sort of sexual partner just was not my burning desire, so to speak.

"Chance! I want the male domination/female submission examined. What makes a woman submit to a man. Why? Oh, I can guess why a male gets excited. After all, isn't that what most men want? A woman all googly over them? But there are women, apparently, that are strong and in power positions that want to submit to a dominant man. I want to know why."

My thoughts sprinted back to a review I wrote on the movie, 50 Shades of Grey, after it was released. I didn't actually hate the movie, but I saw Anastasia Steele as weak, and Christian Grey was, in my feminist mind, nothing short of a bully that loved putting the weak little woman in her place. I reminded Grace of that review.

"Won't it seem contradictory if I write this series? Wouldn't someone else be better suited for it?"

"You are the perfect one for this. A strong, opinionated feminist exploring the world of Male Dominance and Female Submission. Perfect, if you ask me. And it is my choice. I expect the first of five segments by the end of the week."

Dismissed. With article in hand, my stomach felt queasy, and my head ached. All I could think of was how I would be able to write about this honestly and without bias. And how was I to find men and women willing to talk to me about it.

With a deep breath, I began on Google. Plenty of BDSM porn sites, but as usual all objectifying women. With each link, I became even more convinced that the only woman who would submit herself to such treatment must not have a very high opinion of herself.