Bdsm Virgin

Part 5 the finale-Ultimate Release

A/N

This is going to be in two chapters instead of parting it up so enjoy reading.!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All I wanted was to lay here, listening to him breathe, hearing his heartbeat, feeling his strength. As he gazed deep into me, I wrapped my arms tighter around him and fell into his power. I closed my eyes and swirled into a peaceful slumber.

I opened my eyes much later and heard him singing in the shower. A strong baritone filled the room as he sang an old Frank Sinatra standard, "Witchcraft." I smiled and lay there listening and taking the time to enjoy this bliss I was experiencing.

The water stopped. He continued to hum to some invisible orchestra or band. He entered the bedroom, towel wrapped around his waist, a slight paunch visible. I watched him stroll toward the bed and softly smiled.

"Hey, Jeff. Morning."

"Good morning, my Chance." He dropped the towel to the floor and climbed back into bed snuggling close to me. "C'mere."

His arm wrapped around my shoulder as I burrowed into the covers next to him and snuggled against his shoulder.

Lifting my chin toward him, he kissed my forehead tenderly. "Chance, we need to talk."

Oh, how I hate those words. They usually mean that the end is coming, and we are just beginning. Or so I thought. I steeled myself for the next sentence.

"We can't continue like this, Chance. I need certain things, and one of those is being a Dominant. I'm not sure you are ready for what I need or want."

I swallowed hard and fought the tears. There is no way you will see me cry. No way!

"So, what are you saying? Do you want me to leave? I will. I won't stay where I'm not wanted." My heart was racing as I pulled away from him. I had been here many times before, and the last thing I wanted again was someone who played with my feelings and pushed me away like I was a toy. I rose and looked at him defiantly.

"So?" I fought hard against breaking down. I realized then that I had fallen hard for him. It was more than research and exploring this D/s thing. More than a series for my magazine and much more than a feminist proving a point that submissives were weak and vapid creatures that had a Daddy complex. No, this was much more than that. I needed, no craved, to make him happy. I yearned for him to take control. I desired to give to him everything I could just to see him smile at me. Dammit! I loved him! But I would not be humiliated and beg for him. No, not now. Not ever.

He simply watched me and said nothing. My mind raced. What the hell does he want from me? Maybe I'm not good enough for him. Maybe I can't be what he wants. Maybe he just doesn't care at all. Maybe he wants some insipid little weak damsel in distress. Maybe he needs some bland, boring girl with a Daddy complex. Fine! He can have that!

The more I thought, the angrier I got. They're all alike. Men! Play with a real woman's feelings and toss them away like yesterday's trash. Well! I am NOT your trash. I am NOT anyone's trash. Fine! You want that? Go somewhere else to look, Buddy!

I virtually leapt off the bed and started grabbing my clothes, fighting the tears of anger and hurt. I glanced in his direction to see if he was going to try to stop me. Nothing. He just kept watching and saying nothing. No expression, except a set jaw and slight smirk on his face.

I didn't take the time to look at myself in the mirror. I just wanted to get out of there before I fell apart. Before he saw me fall apart. Before he saw me cry.

I rushed into the living room searching for my car keys and bag. I didn't see them anywhere. I swirled right into his arms.

"Stop! What are you doing, Chance?"

"I can't find my keys! Where are my damn keys?" I could not contain myself any longer. I fell apart and collapsed on my knees on the floor sobbing.

"Ah, Baby Girl. Please don't" He fell to the floor taking me in his arms and holding me. The tears would not stop. Please tell me to stay. I don't want this over. I can't stop this. I can't stop loving you. Please!

After awhile, the sobs subsided. He just kept holding onto me. He kissed me gently on the head, stroking my hair, soothing me. "It's ok, Baby. It's ok."

I felt so humiliated. I had never fallen apart like this before, but then, I had never felt this way before either. This was more than love.

He put both hands on my shoulders and pushed me slightly away to look into my eyes.

"I really bungled that one, my love. I'm sorry."

I peered at him through tears that remained in my eyes not understanding what he was saying.

"Chance, what I meant was that I can't go on like this. I need you, but I need to know that you feel the same way I do. Dammit, Chance, I love you! I have had other subs, but never felt even close about them the way I do about you. I need to be the Dominant. I desire you to be my submissive. But in all of that, I want us to be us – whatever that is. I yearn to share with you what my world is, and I yearn for you to share with me what your world is. In this, I want to take care of you and for you to trust me completely, but I also want you to take care of me and take my trust of you completely within you. Can you do that, Chance?"

Every thought I had disintegrated into nothing. He wants me! He loves me! He wants me to be his! He wants to be mine!

"Oh, yes! I can. I thought you were wanting me to leave. I'm falling for you. Hard. I don't know how deep I can go into your world, but I'm willing to try. I want to learn what makes you smile and what feeds your hungers. I want you to learn what feeds my hungers too. I want you to teach me this world and guide me in this world. I only trust you, Jeff. Only you."

He slowly rose to his feet, but I stayed on my knees looking up at him with love. I realized neither of us were clothed. And I saw him in his full power and strength. He reached down and lifted me to my feet.

"Chance, from this day on, I promise to care for you and protect you and love you. You alone."

We kissed deeply. Oh, how we kissed. Our lips crushed together, arms wrapped tightly around each other. We melted into each other. He slightly pushed away and lifted me in his arms gazing at me tenderly.