By Any Means

The Next Move

When Cee and I left the park that evening, I couldn't help but think about what the next move would be. Even though Cee and I had just met, I felt a connection with her and I knew I wanted to help her as much as i wanted to help myself but the question was HOW?

After getting Jamier fed, showered and asleep, it was about 9pm. My father would normally call around 9:30 at night so i was expecting his call but nervous at the same time. I was debating on if I really wanted to have this conversation with him.. Was I willing to step into exactly what I said I wanted nothing to do with? And what would my father even say? Did I want to end up like him? Would it all even be worth it? so much shit was running through my head but so was the wellbeing of my son and when it comes to him, I'll do whatever it takes.

The house phone rings and i answer "This is a prepaid call from "Desmond" an inmate at a Florida Correctional Institution, to accept charges press 1..."

I hated hearing this bitch voice! her voice was just a everyday reminder of why my life is in shambles. Truth be told, life was great until my father got snatched away from me about a year ago and the memory of it is embedded in my head. That whole day was like a terrible dream! It was about 6 o'clock in the morning when we heard the knock on the door. It wasn't a regular ol' knock, it was the feds knocking and we all knew what was gonna happen next. I peeped my head out my room making sure the coast was clear before tip toeing to my fathers room. He sat up in his bed dressed in a plain white t-shirt, a pair of red and white gym shorts and was in the middle of lacing up his white forces.

I looked at him scared and said, "daddy, what you gonna do?"

He looked at me with a straight face and said, "Do you remember the conversation we had yesterday?"

With everything going on it took me a second to remember but then it clicked. My dad had sat me down and told me that he was leaving and he don't know when he'll see me again but the plan was to be leaving this morning. He never told me why or what was going on and I see why. I never would've thought that this would be the reason. A part of me wished that he would've hauled ass yesterday, but the better part of me was glad he didn't because it would've made everything worse.

I snapped out of it and say confused, "Well daddy, who else did you tell because how convenient is it that they're showing up the morning you were supposed to leave!?"

"Oh trust me, I know who snitched cause its only one other person I told about me leaving besides you" he said angrily, but still in a low voice.

He clenched his teeth and said, "Trust me, that nigga gon' get his!"

I stood there for a second in disbelief because this isn't anything I planned for. What were we going to do? Jamier was just a baby, and my dad was the one who really helped me with him. His father always been a some timing ass nigga, but thats a whole different story, I thought as I shook it out my head.

My dad startled me saying my name firmly to get my attention. "Come on babygirl, you gotta snap out of it! I need you to look to the back of the house and tell me if you see them back there"

the rear part of our home was like hangout area, there was a flat screen above the fire place that was bricked from the ceiling to the floor. There was a red pool table in the middle of the room and in the corner there was a whole computer station set up. The walls, besides the fireplace, were windows that looked out towards our pool and backyard area. Our house was also lined in a tall wooden fence, so nobody could see over it.

As I'm walking quietly towards to the back of the house I don't see anyone, no-one had come over the fence yet so I ran back and told him. He grabbed an already packed bag and started walking down the hallway behind me.