Three weeks later
Perrie P.O.V
I go to the bathroom and look in the mirror, I hate my body, this is the body which was too weak to get Steph off and stop her take away from me the only thing a person should never get stolen. I stare at the lines on my wrist, yes you may think I'm weak but I think they help, they are like slits letting out all negative thoughts that stay in my mind. I am thinner than normal, I forget to eat and throw up a lot, I can't seem to swallow food, it just keeps coming back up so I give in and vomit. I take my clothes off and have a shower, while doing this I use my little metal friend, the razor, and make some more cuts, my mind slowly becoming less full with these thoughts that like to tear away a part of my confidence and self esteem.
I get out the shower and put on jeans, white long sleeved top and jacket with my hair in a bun and makeup. I get my phone and see Steph still threatening me on it, since the 'incident' she has been texting and ringing me, making sure I don't tell anyone. Luckily the girls haven't suspected a thing yet, I do all I can to hide my physical changes, long sleeved and baggy tops, I fake smile and laugh so they think I'm okay, but it's hard pretending it's okay. I walk downstairs and see Jade watching the TV, I sit next to her, she leans close to me and kisses my temple, I quickly sit back, I have been doing this a lot, I love Jade but every time she kisses or gets intimate I back down, it hurts to see her disappointed but it keeps reminding me of Steph and what she did to me.
Jade turns the TV off and stares at me fully in the eyes, "Perrie what's wrong, you have been acting... off" she says, "Nothing Jade" I sigh, "Perrie, there obviously something going on, you look different, I can't put my finger on it" she says, "I don't want to talk about it" I say standing up but she grabs my wrist, I gasp in pain so she let's go quickly. "What is wrong?" she asked, "Nothing!" I say nervously and run upstairs to my room where I close the door and sit against it, I hear a knock at the door, "Perrie, please open up, I just want to help" Jade says, "I don't want to hurt you anymore, I can see the way it's affecting you" I say, "What is?" she asks, "The fact I am being so distant and every time you want to kiss or touch me I flinch" I say. There was a slight pause then she speaks, "If you told me why then I would understand, please Perrie, I want to help!" she begs, "No Jade, it's better if you don't know, it will hurt you and me less" I say.
I feel the tears make their way down my face, "Perrie I promise whatever it is I can help, please, I love you so much that I could never stop, just please let me in" she begs, "No Jade, just go" I say getting up and locking the door then walk to my bed and hiding under the sheets. I wake up and see it's six in the morning, I get up and check nothing is visible, I open my door and see that opposite is Jade.. and Leigh with Jesy. Why were they all outside? I shrug and walk past to the kitchen, I get some water then sit on the couch, I hear murmuring and then footsteps, all three girls walk in and stare at me. I stand up and go to walk up to my room but the crying stops me, I turn and see Jade with tears making their way down her face, "Don't go, don't leave, please stay" she whimpers, I look at her in the eyes but the memories of Steph replay in my head, I turn shake my head and carry on walking. "What have I done?" Jade asks, "Nothing" I say and keep walking to my room but end up in the bathroom with a razor, damn I can't keep doing this. I wash the blood of my wrists and hide all evidence of the self harm I just committed, I lift my top up and stare at the mirror, my skin was quite thin and my bones have started to show.
Jade P.O.V
I sit on the sofa with my head in my hands, crying over the girl that I gave my heart to but recently, she treats me like a stranger. "She said it wasn't you, she may have a problem with someone else, I know you have asked her but all she needs to know is that you are here for her, just let her have your comfort for now" Leigh says, "I know but she keeps shutting me out, it hurts" I say, "I know, it will get better though, trust me" Jesy says, I nod but then something catches my eyes, Perrie's phone lighting up, I walk over and read the text, 'I see you aren't coping well, think I won't notice the change of weight or texture of the wrists, you will have to be smarter if you want to keep it away from Jade and your band mates, remember if she finds out, they will be hurt-Steph' . I drop the phone and stare at the others, "Steph has done something to her and is telling her that if she tells us we will be hurt" I say, their eyes widen, "What do we do?" Jesy says, "I don't care, I want to know what that idiot did to our best friend" Leigh says and walks up the stairs so we follow her to Perrie's room.
We get to her room and find the door unlocked, we sit on her bed and wait for her, she walks in pulling her sleeves down, she goes wide eyes at us and goes to leave, "No, Perrie we know" Leigh says, she sighs and closes the door. "What do you think you know" she says looking at us, "That Steph did or knows something and if you tell then we will get hurt" I say, "How did you know that?" she asks, "We were sitting in the lounge and your phone lit up with a text, I saw the start and curiosity took the better of me, I looked, but only because I want to protect you, I want you safe" I say, she sighs and nods. "She also said something about how you are dealing with this" I carry on, her eyes widen and her breathing changed to panicky, "Um, no, I'm dealing fine, with the thing" she says quickly.
Perrie walks over to the mirror and cringes then turns to us, "The thing is, I don't want to tell you as I'm scared what she will do to you, I know what she is capable of and it's terrorizing" she says, "Perrie, please it hurts us to see you like this" Leigh says, she sighs and sits on a chair opposite us, "Well when I went out with Steph and friends, something happened" she says, "You cheated on me, didn't you!" I shouted, I knew this would happen, Steph was better looking than me, what did I expect, I couldn't win against her, I just thought she would be better than cheating. "No, why the hell would I cheat on the one I love, you have to trust me, like I trust you" she says upset. "Sorry, I do trust you" I say, she sighs and looks at the floor, "Steph did sleep with me but... I didn't want it, I tried all I could to stop her, I shouted no over and over, I tried pushing her off me but what I didn't realize she was giving me strong drinks all night so I was tipsy and weak, but I still tried all I could yet she took my purity and left me hurt" she says in tears, I gasp and run towards her. I hug her but it feels different, I step back then gasp, "Take your top off" I say, she shakes her head, "Perrie we won't judge you, if this happened to us we would probably be the same" Jesy says, she nods and takes her top off.
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Haven't done these mini notes in some time, please keep voting and leaving comments, the more comments this gets the longer the chapters will be and I will update two each time. Hopefully you are all enjoying this! :)
