Not your fault. It's what I decided. Don't blame yourself, I couldn't handle it like you could. Goodbye. The words ran around in my head as they so often do. Everyday those words repeat, whether I want them to or not they do. It's all I've been able to think for the past 2, whoops I mean 3 years. 3 years today. I missed her more than anything. I slid my bag onto my shoulder, double checking to make sure I had everything. Flowers, necklace, candle, and muncho's. All her favorites, red roses, a best friends necklace this one was mood peace signs, a vanilla candle and muncho's her favorite chips. I slipped my hat onto my hat, flipping my bangs out of my face and making my way out into the rainy, cold weather. I pulled my hoodie closer when the wind hit me as I walked. It was only seven blocks, then another mile and then I was there. I stared down at the piece of stone, a tear fell from my eye and landed on it. The rain had become a drizzle and for that I was thankful. I bent down, pulling away some weeds off of the stone until it was perfect. Just as she would want it. I pulled out each item, one at a time, placing them in the places they belonged. The roses along the side, the candle at the top, the muncho's along the other side and the necklace placed around the candle. I ran my hand along the inscripted words. Re-reading them as I did every year. Gabriella Drave 1998-2011 Beloved friend, sister and daughter. I wiped my wet eyes and sat on the wet grass, crossing my legs. "Hey Gabby, I miss you, I know you probably can't hear me as you're probably up there with some cute guy, I would join you, I want to join you but you wrote for me to stay here and I know that that's what I should do. I miss you, I love you." I brought my hand to my lips before resting it on the gravestone. She was only thirteen, she had so much more and now she was gone. I stood up with a sigh as the rain started picking up again. That's one thing I hated about living in London, it always rained. I hiked my bag up my shoulder and then started my trek back home, soaking wet in seconds and chilled to the bone by the time that I got home one again. I entered quietly as always, shutting the door and taking off my boots, I slid them by the door and started heading to my room once again. I said a quick hello to Mari, my foster mom before shutting my door. I changed into some sweatpants and a new t-shirt before turning on my stereo and plopping down onto my bed. I pulled the covers up to my chin hoping to calm my shivers. I had met Gabby in the third grade when I was shipped across the ocean via the foster system. She was the first person to talk to me and we had become great friends, practically sisters over the years. We told each other almost everything. Almost being the opperative word, she didn't tell me her plan, didn't tell me she was going to go out that night. I can hardly face my walk to school everyday without thinking about her, passing that bridge. I shut my eyes letting the music flood my mind for a couple minutes. I rolled over facing the wall, as there was a knock on the door. My door opened and I didn't have to look to know who it was. The door was shut and I heard small shuffling. "Anslee?" A small voice asked. I turned over seeing my foster sister Tori standing there. Tori was four and had been here since she was 1 and a half. Mari was going to adopt her as a fifth birthday present, one of the many I'm sure. Mari had offered to adopt me quite a few years ago and I had respctfully declined, stating it felt wrong. I turned over looking at Tori, her hair was a dark brown and was currently braided, falling just below her shoulder blades. "What's up?" I asked her.
"Ms. Mari says it's time for dinner. Are you going to come and eat?" She asked, her voice soft. I shook my head. "Thank you for asking." I told her. She smiled and left just as quietly as she had come. Tori was definitly the quietest, sweetest kid that I had ever lived with, not that any of the kids caused me problems. Age-wise Tori was the youngest, then Ray who was 8, then Jake at 10 and I was the oldest, being 17. I had been here the longest and Ray the shortest amount of time. I rolled out of my bed standing up and going over to my bookshelf. I grabbed the red journal off of the shelf and plopped down onto my beanbag, opening it to the first page.
Janurary 6, 2004
Hey friend,
I decided that I'll call you Harry. So Harry I'm not very good at introductions, but anyway my name is Gabriella. I'm in the third grade now and I made a new friend. Her name is Anslee and she's American which means she comes from America. It sounds like such a foreign land, but at the same time it sounds fun. Anslee is in my grade and she's really nice, we like a lot of the same stuff. I'm not very good at writing yet, but I'm going to improve and one day I'll make money for it. I'll talk to you later.
Bye Harry! <3
