Gone (Larry Stylinson)

Warnings: Cutting, blood, character death, may cause triggers. If this isn't your cup of tea, please turn around, enjoy.

I can't help the fact that every time I see you, My heart races. One word from you and everything is okay for awhile. Your smile is the reason I get up in the morning. I wish I could tell you but it seems like lately, I barely even know you. I try, oh do I try, to rack my brain for thoughts on why you changed. Every time I ask, it's always the same answer; life. Or, sometimes, no answer at all. We used to be close, closer than husband and wife, now we hardly talk. I miss you, the old you. Not this closed off, reformed version of you that everybody seems to think is better. I know why you changed now. It was to please those vultures. You did it, for the sake of your four brothers though. I'm sorry I couldn't handle it. You were always out with her. I missed the not so subtle touches and glances that were once allowed between us. We used to be so free, what happened? I'm sorry I couldn't handle the drama. I'm sorry I failed you and the boys. I'm sorry for all the pain I caused you. Maybe now that I'm gone, you can finally be happy. Don't bother coming to look for me because where I'm going, no one can follow. I already know who's going to find me. It'll be you, of course, coming home to tell me about your latest date with her but I won't be there to listen. I'm already starting to feel the effects of what I've done. I'm starting to feel weak and dizzy. I can see the blood spattering the white blanket beneath me. But, I'm going to finish this letter to you, even as my hands shake and my eyes try to slip shut. Just a few more words Louis Tomlinson: Remember I loved you.

I dropped the pen I was writing with and laid back on the bed, a serene smile falling across my lips. Any minute now, my body will go into overdrive and try to repair the damage. When it can't,  it will slowly start to shut down. When it does, I'll be ready for it. I've been ready for months, just waiting for the right time. I do feel bad for Gemma and my mum. Gemma's going to call about a date she went on tonight and when I don't answer, she'll know something is wrong. I always answer her calls, no matter what time of day or night. She'll call you and you'll rush back home, finding me in a pool of my own blood. My vision is going fuzzy and I feel so numb. I think it's time for a nap. Yes, that sounds good. Too bad I won't wake up and by time you get home, you'll be too late.