Reborn

To my wanderer

First of all: Yes Christianity is difficult. No it is NOT boring. And yes we young girls are still young and not as old as most people tend to make it seem. I am still fun. I still enjoy my youth. I don't think, feel nor sound old and stuck up. I am still straight up me. I am living, breathing proof.

But...

I used to think otherwise.

My story:

Christianity was unattractive. As a young girl who was raised in the church and enjoyed going to church on Sundays; I disliked the whole idea of "trials and tribulations".

"Why do I have to suffer? I am so young. I want to enjoy life!" Was my daily motto. I didn't want to be sheltered, I wanted to have boy friends, get piercings, and party without any one telling me I couldn't.

Not even after baptizing at the age of thirteen compelled me to seriously commit... Well maybe for a while.
It was as if I was locked in a cage looking out and watching so many "pretty" things pass me by. It was a tug and war between the world and God and I was the rope. On one hand I am learning the word of God (the Bible) and on the other hand I wanted to be apart of something else desperately.

Eventually, I left the church. I went out in to the world to search for those "pretty" things I saw.

I never found it.

Nothing brought me great joy.  Sure I enjoyed having boyfriends, sex, getting piercings, drinking, and partying. But at the end of the day guys broke my heart, sex got out of hand, piercings just gets too ridiculous to even try, drinking hurts me, and partying is a waste of good money.

What I wasted my time to find and be apart of took six years. During those years I lost some parts of myself. I never felt more lost. I never felt so out of place. The world chewed me up and spat me out. Eventually I started to reminisce about the times I actually felt secure. When I felt like I had people who really cared for me. A place where there was actually a life manual (the Bible).

It was a few months after the break up with my atheist boy friend, yes you read right, where I realized that was when I was in the church. I went to a crusade where I could do nothing but cry out to God. "Take me back!" Those were my words.

That was three years ago (2014) and I never looked back. I seriously committed myself that night. It became evident to me that things of the world, things in this life are just not permanent.

We will break down with these worldly things should we dedicate our lives to attain them alone.

I'm not going to say I am perfect and that from 2014 I have not fallen and failed. The truth is, I did! I made many mistakes, I failed at many things. I even got lukewarm. Things of the flesh quenched the spirit. But with experience comes knowledge, growth, and strength to endure. It's all a process.

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The Word:

In the previous chapter I shared the scripture Mathew 6:33. And I will just extend my thoughts on it here:

Who else knows the desires of your heart? Who knows you better than yourself? Who understands what you can't even begin to imagine to understand about yourself? Isn't The Creator a sensible answer?

At what point did you know you would be at this point in your life? Who on this earth knows your future?

Isn't The Creator a sensible answer?

So why can't you look to Him? You have wandered enough. Aren't you tired of looking the wrong place? Come home. He is waiting with open arms and He will not refuse you, no matter what you have done. That's all it takes to find your place, to walk a path of surety and security. You will receive all you want and need from God. Take it all to Him in prayer. I guarantee you will. That's His promise.

Anyways, its all up to you. It is your choice. God bless you.

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Think on this: "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:  
But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:   For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
Matthew 6:19‭-‬21

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To my readers: please pardon my errors should there be any. It will be edited in the near future. Thanks.

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